


Imaginary Friend

by 00Cat00



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Adorable Mikey, Boys Being Boys, Brotherly Love, Cute Kids, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Older Sibling Leonardo (TMNT), Good Parent Splinter (TMNT), Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Kid Raphael, kid donatello, kid leonardo, kid michelangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/00Cat00/pseuds/00Cat00
Summary: Mikey knew Leo was different.He went by day by day, unseen and unheard.But Mikey loved him anyway.Imaginary friend Leo AU. Fluff and angst in equal measures.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael & Splinter (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Leonardo & Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo & Splinter (TMNT), Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 103





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Context for the first part. I originally had them written as just one part, but it ended up being too long, so I moved it here.
> 
> Enjoy!

Days in the Lair were normally peaceful. No sounds could be heard deep in the sewers, and, even though a bit of natural light could enter through the manholes, the place was still pretty dark, giving the air a sense of stillness that couldn't not be broken, like a spell.

"AH! MIKEEEEY!!!"

Well, there were a few exceptions. The little spell-breaker was currently on the move, dodging toys and scattered objects, as well as furniture. Michelangelo, or Mikey for short, the youngest brother and son of the Hamato clan, was putting all of his ninja skills into test, running as fast as his little 5 year old legs could go and trying desperately to find some sort of shelter to avoid the mighty wrath of his older brother, Raphael, who was chasing him and, Mikey noted, closing the distance between them more and more with each step.

"AHHHH! I'M SOWWY RAPHIE! I SWEAR I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!!" He screeched, running straight for the dojo, where he knew his daddy was. He surely wouldn't mind him hiding there for a bit, right? After all, Mikey knew the old rat was probably meditating, or whatever. Honestly, he thought it was a bit dumb...wasn't meditation just sleeping? He could never close his eyes for long before falling asleep when they were training, and that had earned him quite some mocking from Raph.

"Mikey, I _swear_ , when I find ya, ye'r _so_ gonna get it!" Said brother threatened, and Mikey got out of his train of thoughts, suddenly remembering he was in danger. He bolted through the sliding doors to find his daddy in a sitting position, with his eyes closed. The little turtle halted his running and tried to sneak past his sensei as fast as he could, aiming for the young tree his daddy had planted when they first got here. He was sure he wouldn't be seen there! After all, he was the best at climbing stuff. He smiled, showing off his tooth gap, from when he had fallen over while trying out his new skateboard, and took the first step towards it. However, he didn't get a chance to hide, because his storm of a brother entered the dojo then, nearly ripping the delicate doors in the process. Sensei didn't react at all at this situation, merely twitching his ears a bit, accustomed to these little chases between his sons. Mikey yelped and scrambled away from the 9 year old's grasp, hiding behind his daddy on instinct.

"Ya can't hide from me Mikey!" Raph smirked evilly, easily rounding the rat and diving straight for his little bro. The five year old felt his brother's hand on his shell, and, half-screaming, half-laughing, he jumped out of the way quickly, leaping over the red-masked turtle's head and getting out of the dojo. He smiled widely. Being somehow a little short for his age had its perks sometimes, even if his brothers teased him about it. Now he had shown Raph what a good ninja he was! The look on his face was priceless! He tried to muffle his giggles with his hands as he scurried over to his next location: Donnie's lab. Donnie had so much stuff in his lab that he could surely hide under a table or something!

"Wh–Mikey? What–" The purple-masked turtle began, only to be cut off by a panting Mikey, who quickly glimpsed a big stack of books in a corner, and ran towards them, tripping Donnie in the process, causing one of the weird tubes he was holding in his hands to almost fall to the floor. Donnie took a sharp intake of breath, tightening his grip on the tube, and when he managed to stabilize himself, he went to scold Mikey for his recklessness, only to be shoved over again by Raph, who was on the freckled turtle's trail. The hotheaded brother almost immediately found his baby brother's location, behind the pile of books. Mikey wasn't really the stealthiest turtle, it just wasn't in him to be silent. At least not for long periods of time. Raph jumped over a table, knocking over one of Donnie's experiments, and promptly snatched Mikey away from his hiding spot, lifting him in the air in a weird hug, fully intending to deliver his punishment. Preferably, in the form of tickles.

"RAPHAEL!" The shout had both brothers frozen in place in a second. Mikey turned his head to look at Donnie. The turtle had his eyes full of tears, and his fist trembled, as well as his lower lip. Raph sweat-dropped and looked down to see his mistake. Colorful liquids covered the floor, and shards of broken glass were sprawled here and there. A couple of books were now unreadable, as the pages had been soaked up in the water and fluids the purple masked turtle was preparing (for weeks, he remembered), and from a piece of melted metal on the edge of the table, a trail of smoke was crawling up, slowly dissipating in the air. They had made a mess. _He_ had made a mess. Raph felt the guilt turning in his stomach. He was supposed to be the responsible one. He was supposed to help his brothers. He knew Donnie was awfully smart for his age, and he almost never lost his cool, but he had messed with his experiments. With _Donnie's_ space. He never wanted to hurt the 7-year old, but the deed was done, and he was now watching his little brother cry out:

"DADDY!!"

As he began to wail, the heart breaking sound was interrupted by Splinter, who came running at the sound of his child's distress. In his mind, dreadful scenarios were playing. What if there was a threat? Was he hurt? Had someone broke in? A human? A monster? Had...Had Saki finally found them? His worries were eased, however, when he found the lab his second eldest son had built for himself completely trashed, the owner crying his little heart out, and two gulilty-looking turtles in the middle of it all. The old rat sighed, massaging his temples. He was massively relieved none of the possibilities he had thought of were true, but he _really_ wished this accidents stopped once and for all. Waking up abruptly from meditation to hear his child's screams was _not_ fun. _At all_.

"What is happening here?" he asked sternly. Donatello looked up, hiccuping, and flung himself into his arms.

"WAAAAA-HA-HAAA!!" he cried, and Splinter patted his head while hugging him, trying his best to calm him down. Michelangelo, who didn't like seeing his brothers hurt or crying, had tears in his eyes too, and Raphael was looking down to the floor, scratching his arm guiltily. Splinter called.

"Raphael, Michelangelo"

Said turtles met his father's eyes hesitantly. Mikey stuffed his thumb in his mouth and began sucking anxiously.

"...Yes Dad?" Raphael asked.

"We need to talk."


	2. Cooking (Part 1)

Three calming teas and one lecture later, Raphael and Michelangelo were sent to their rooms. Splinter, of course, and punished them by taking away their favorite things for a week. No training dummy for Raph, and no video games for Mikey. Needless to say, the freckled turtle was so distraught about it, he went to his room crying and slammed the door frustratingly. He needed some alone time, away from dumb Donnie who cried over his dumb lab, and from mean Raphie, who looked at him like it was his fault too! Raphie had apologized, but he hadn't. It wasn't his fault! He was running away from _him_ , so it was _his_ fault for chasing him! Mikey had tried to make his daddy understand, but to no avail. So he went to his room to talk with the only person who ever listened to him.

"Oh Mikey, what did you do now?" 

Leo was sitting on his space at the top of Mikey's bunk bed, in the meditation posture. However, when Mikey came crying into his room, he had opened his blue eyes in a look of concern, as he immediately jumped down and embraced his little brother in a hug.

"I didn't do anything! I just–*sniff*And Raphie was–*sniff*and then Donnie called Daddy and–"

"Shh...calm down. Deep breaths, okay?" Leo sat at the bottom bed with Mikey on his lap and began rocking him back and forth gently, as a hum built in his throat instinctively. Mikey hiccuped a few more times, but let himself be enveloped by his brother's warmth, as he felt the vibration of his big brother's humming, calming him. Eventually his tears dried out and he took a trembling breath.

"There we go" Leo pulled himself away from his embrace just a little so he could see his brother and smiled down at him. His eyes were full of kindness and love, and Mikey instantly felt better. 

"Now, tell me what happened. I heard screaming" The blue-masked turtle said worriedly.

While Mikey explained the issue to him, Leo's eyes shifted from preoccupied to fondly exasperated.

"And then Donnie called Daddy, and he scolded us and told me I couldn't pway video games for a whole week!" his eyes teared up again. His brother sighed and patted his head.

"Well Mikey, I think Splinter was right" Mikey's eyes shot up to meet his gaze, and he opened his mouth indignantly, but Leo shushed him.

"Let me finish. I know that Raph was technically the one to break Donnie's stuff. But you are also responsible for this. You ran into his lab knowing he keeps delicate stuff in there." The orange masked turtle looked down embarrassedly.

"I know you were probably focused on running away from Raph and not in being careful, but that's also your fault, isn't it?" Mikey sucked on his thumb, and Leo gently took his hand away. Sucking on his thumb was an habit he was trying to break, as he had heard Donnie saying it was bad for him.

"...What did you do to him?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"N-nothing!" Mikey jumped, and Leo crossed his arms.

"I'm not dumb Mikey. Why would Raph chase you without a reason?" then his voice softened. 

"I promise I won't be mad at you" Mikey hesitated. It was true. He could tell Leo anything and he wouldn't get mad. Besides, everyone already knew, so he would still find out sooner or later. He mumbled something.

"...I'pt'a'oach'hsbd"

"What?" 

"I put a roach in his bed!" 

Silence. Mikey closed his eyes.

"....Mikey..." Mikey knew that tone. He knew it! He was mad at him!

"You pwomised you wouldn't be mad!" he cried. Leo held his hands out in a placating manner.

"Whoa whoa whoa! I'm not mad Mikey!" 

"...You're not?"

"No little bro. I'm just...*sigh* I'm just disappointed" Mikey's lower lip trembled. 

_'I'm just disappointed'._

Somehow, that hurt more than anything his daddy had said to him. He made Donnie sad. He made Daddy sad. And now he made _Leo_ sad. He could feel the tears prickling at the corner of his eyes again, but he listened to what his big brother had to say.

"You know how Raph gets with bugs. Especially cockroaches. It's not nice to scare him like that. What would you feel if someone scared _you_?" he asked. Mikey thought about it. He was really scared of darkness, and he wouldn't like someone pranking him with it.

"...I would feel angry" he admitted.

"And how would you feel if you had worked on something really hard, say, a video game level, and someone deleted your save files?"

"...Sad..." he whimpered. He understood now. He had scared Raph, and that made him mad, and he had helped to break Donnie's work, making him sad. And on top of it, he had disappointed both his daddy _and_ Leo. He felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks before he could stop them. He really was a bad brother. 

Leo sighed. He was still a little disappointed with Mikey, but seeing him cry like that and admitting his mistake erased that feeling in a heartbeat. He really had a soft spot for him, and couldn't stay mad at him for long. Leo held his arms out, inviting Mikey into them once more. The little turtle accepted the hug, and cried some more, as Leo rubbed reassuring circles on his shell. They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Mikey sniffed one last time and rubbed his eyes.

"Thanks Leo...I still feel bad though. Donnie didn't forgive me....I didn't apowogize....to Raphie either" he mumbled. Leo smiled.

"I might have an idea for them to forgive you" The change was immediate. Mikey perked up and bounced like a jack-in-the-box.

"Really?? What is it?!" he practically screamed.

"Cooking"

.

.

.

"...Huh?"

–––––––––//––––––––––––––

Turns out, the idea Leo had was to bake Raph and Donnie some of their favorite goodies and then apologize. That, in the blue masked turtle's opinion, would do the trick. Mikey was all too willing to accept. Although he had been skeptical at first, saying cooking was for girls, and then adding Splinter was the one who cooked in the house. He was too little. 'Don't worry' Leo had said. 'I'll help you' That had eliminated any residual doubt Mikey might have had, even if he knew Leo didn't know how to cook either, and that it would be difficult, since, well, he couldn't really touch stuff. But he said he would help, and besides, his brothers' forgiveness was on the line, so Mikey didn't complain. Cooking actually sounded kind of fun! 

And he was right, because, five minutes later, he was covered in flour, chocolate stains on the floor, trying to contain his giggling so he wouldn't alert his brothers (who where in their rooms), and mixing the butter all while trying to understand Leo's directions, which were not very clear, because the kid was reading the instructions from the pudding box, but was laughing so hard his wheezing made it impossible to get any of the information across. The two were having a blast, and that didn't stop when Splinter showed up.

"My son, what are you doing?" he asked, perplexed. 

He had overheard Michelangelo through his room's door, muffled talking and sobbing reaching his ears. His heart ached for his child, but he had to understand that pranking his brothers was not nice, and that he had to apologize to Donatello for ruining his projects, as he had stubbornly refused to do earlier. Raphael had not been any easier to handle, however, he had at least apologized reluctantly, and he and Donatello were now on speaking terms, albeit his eldest was still mad for this week's punishments. He wanted to comfort his son, but it seemed as he was already reflecting on his actions on his own, and then he had fallen silent, so Splinter had assumed he was sleeping and had let him be. Apparently, that was not the case, as he had heard giggling and had come to see his youngest in the kitchen, obviously trying to bake something, but it was impossible to see _what,_ exactly, for the goo that covered his hands and the bowl in his hands was all sorts of colors, and _were those sprinkles on the ceiling?_ Good Lord, raising three boys was not easy at all.

"Daddy!" his son called happily. "We're making a cake! And pudding! See?" his little finger pointed to the mysterious substance on the bowl. Splinter was about to reply, when something his son said caught his attention.

"We?" Splinter looked around the kitchen, half-expecting to see a bug or a small animal, like that one fish they had when his son was two, but deep inside knowing what the little one was about to say.

"Mhm! Leo and I! He's helping me make it!" He chirped joyfully, looking to the side, where the rat assumed 'Leo' was. He sighed. He had knew Michelangelo was...different, from the moment he held him in his hands as a baby. He seemed to shine, and brighten up the whole room with his happy demeanor, even managing to bring a genuine smile to Raphael's face when he was down, but what stood out the most was his imaginary friend. Granted, his other two sons had their eccentricities too, and Raphael even had a phase when he had one as well. A dog with two heads, if he recalled properly, but that had been curbed when they had found his now pet turtle, Spike, and the dog had disappeared. However, Michelangelo acted as though his friend was actually real, and from a really young age, too, since he had started looking and smiling at empty spaces and babbling to, seemingly, nobody, when he was just a few months old.

His actions had caused Raphael and Donatello to look at him strangely, and Splinter had been worried at first, concerned his youngest had some kind of illness. However, when he saw this demeanor wasn't hurting him or anyone else, he became quite curious and asked him questions about this imaginary friend of his. This is what he knew about him.

1\. His name was Leonardo, and Michelangelo called him Leo.

2\. He was a mutant turtle just like the rest of his sons, but with a blue bandanna.

3\. Michelangelo said Leonardo was the eldest, not Raphael.

4\. His son absolutely adored him.

This adoration was what moved Splinter to acknowledge the non-existent turtle as if he was real, and not only that, but the fact that Michelangelo seemed to become uncharacteristically furious every time one of his brothers told him he wasn't real or mocked this 'Leonardo'. He had even gotten his son a bunk bed, solely for them, as he had begged for days on end to have a bed 'they' could share. He didn't think he was nurturing anything with his behavior, and told himself he was only indulging his son, and that this phase would soon vanish. After all, his son was still very little, and he sometimes became lonely, as Raphael often picked on him and was receiving his training, and Donatello spent the majority of his time in his lab, and shooed him away, not wanting him to mess up any of his stuff, like it happened today. It was only normal for him to create a companion to play with. So Splinter went along with it.

"Oh, I see, that is very nice of him, but, what exactly are you baking? And why?" Splinter held a wet rag in his hands and he started cleaning his son's face. He pouted playfully.

"We're making chocolate pudding for Raphie! And vanilla cake for Donnie!" he scratched his head bashfully "It's my fault that they're mad at me...and it's my fault for bweaking Donnie's stuff too, so Leo thought they might forgive me if I make them a pwesent!" he practically glowed in pride.

"That is very kind and thoughtful of you, Michelangelo. I am sure they will like it. But how about I help you? You are making quite a mess"

"Nooo! Leo is alweady helping me! Just now we were mixing the butter! We can do it!" he insisted.

"...Mh...Well, if you are sure, then I will let you– and Leonardo– be. However, I would like to help you two. How about I help you bake the cake? You can make the pudding and put it in the fridge" at least this way his son was in no danger of burning himself. Michelangelo looked thoughtful, and looked over to his right, listening to someone. Leo, Splinter assumed.

"...Okay. But only with the cake!" 

"Thank you, Michelangelo" Splinter smiled, relieved, and started working, doing over the mix his son had made before. He wasn't sure it was edible. He let himself be absorbed in the task at hand, like he did when he was meditating, and listened to the animated one-sided conversation of his son in the background.

––––––––––––//–––––––––––––––––––

"Oh Raaaphieeee! Donnieee!" Mikey called. He was just putting the finishing touches in his chocolate pudding, and felt the excitement tingling in his chest, but none of his brothers was responding. He frowned. Leo looked over to him.

"You better go get them yourself, Mikey. I'll take care of your pudding" he offered. Mikey nodded decisively and padded over to Raphael's room, passing next to Splinter, who was coming out of the kitchen with the vanilla cake.

"Raphie?" he tentatively whispered. No sounds came at first, but, just as Mikey was thinking that maybe he was asleep, a gruff mumble came through the slit of the door.

"Whaddaya want" it wasn't a question. Mikey gulped. Oh, how he wished Leo was there with him. He'd know what to do. He'd know what to say. Despite that, the little turtle shook his head. No, this was something he needed to do on his own.

"U-um...Hi Raphie...i was just, passing by to say...um..."

"Cut to the chase, moron" Mikey flinched.

"Ihaveapresentforyou!" 

"I don't want it." Mikey's eyes burned with the familiar sting of tears. Raphie would surely forgive him, right? He would at least come out, right?

"R-Raphie?" he hated how his voice broke in the end. No response came.

"I-I know you can't fowgive me, and I'm a tewible bwother, a-and it's okay if you don't wanna come out, b-but..." he trailed off, his distress making his baby-lisp more noticeable. He swallowed a sob.

The door opened.

"...This betta' be good" Raphael said grumpily, looking to the side, arms crossed. Mikey smiled shakily, feeling more positive. One to go.


	3. Cooking (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. Oof.
> 
> You won't believe the days I had.  
> So, I went on vacation for Christmas and New Year and when I came back I found that all my drafts files for my stories were gone.  
> Just like that. Poof. Nowhere to be found.  
> So I had a little mental breakdown and spent two days looking up tutorials on the internet and stuff, until I miraculously managed to retrieve all of them again, and aside for some minor glitches, they're all fine.
> 
> So yeah, enjoy this chapter that was hell to find again :)

"Um, Donnie?" Mikey's little fist knocked on the lab's door. No response came. Wow, Donnie really _was_ bitter huh? Well, Raph couldn't blame him. It wasn't everyday that you saw the genius this mad, but, to be fair, if someone completely trashed your lab and the experiments you've been working on for weeks, wouldn't you be mad too? He certainly would be, if those were his beloved sais, or Spike. Admittedly, _he_ was the one to knock over Donnie's experiments, but after telling him Mikey had been the one to put that–that horrible, _disgusting_ , little **_cockroach_** in his bed–Raph suppressed a shiver– Donnie had forgave him, and the blame had passed on to the youngest instead.

Now, Raph didn't have plans to open his door at the beginning. He was hell bent on being angry, and bitter, and resentful, ranting to Spike about the injustice that was no training for a _whole_ _week_ , but then Mikey had pulled out his trump card, albeit without being aware of it. He had heard that barely noticeable _wobble_ in his brother's voice, in the hesitant question ' _R-Raphie?_ ' and the sentence that followed next had that wetness to it that usually signaled crying, and his lisp had been there too, using his god-darn _cuteness_ against Raph too, and then, without his consent, his feet had moved to the door and his arms had opened it, revealing a teary-eyed Mikey. And then the guilt had come. Of course. His little brother had been _this close_ to crying, crying because of _him_ , and that shouldn't have been so horrible, but it was. This mess wasn't even his fault, it was all Mikey, and even then he managed to guilt-trip him?! It wasn't fair, but it had happened anyway. To be honest, though, even if he picked on him and mocked him, he had no desire of seeing Mikey seriously hurt or crying. Darn it. Stupid big brother instinct. Stupid mushy feelings.

"..I don't think he's gonna come out, Raphie..." Mikey sighed. They had been standing there for a few minutes, and Mikey had slowly been losing hope. Raph frowned. Come on, he got that Donnie was probably sulking and fuming in a corner, but this was too much. Ha! And master Splinter said _he_ was the difficult one! He had no idea what Mikey had in mind, but he said he had a present for them, so if those words and that _glorious_ _smell_ from the kitchen were anything to go by, Raph would not complain. He wanted his present, and he wanted it _now_. So the eldest did the only thing he thought of. He banged on Donnie's door.

"HEY DONNIE! OPEN UP! MIKEY HERE SAYS HE'S GOT A PRESENT FER US, BUT WE CAN'T _EAT IT_ IF YA DON'T. COME. _OUT_!" The last three words were emphasized by loud kicks to the metal door, and Mikey flinched a bit. However, this somehow violent approach seemed to do the trick, since they heard shuffling inside. Mikey perked up slightly. Raph smirked.

"WE KNOW YAR _IN THEEEERE!_ " He hollered. Damn it. Damn it all. If he had to take the stupid door down to get his younger brother out of there, he would.

"R-Raphie, I don't think you should–"

The door slammed open, and Donnie's irritated eyes poked out.

" _What_. Do you _want_ , Raph!?" He bit out. The red-masked turtle smiled a toothy smile.

" _Finally_. We've been standing' here for forever. What 're ya doin' in there anyway? Locking' yourself up like yer depressed r' something" He joked. Donnie snorted and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He looked worn out, and was there redness under his eyes? Raph frowned. Donnie had been crying, possibly out of frustration at having his work trashed.

Truth being said, he and Donnie were on speaking terms now, but that didn't mean the smart turtle had fully forgiven him just yet. He was still on guard, and kind of dry towards him, and he would admit it over his dead shell, but that _hurt_. Granted, he thought gruffly, it was partly _his_ fault too. _He_ had been the one to break Donnie's stuff in a fit of rage after all, too busy chasing Mikey to see where he was stepping through. He wanted to make things right, but he had no idea how. So this 'present' thing Mikey had in mind could probably be his best chance at making things up with his little bother.

"I _am_ depressed Raph. I just had my experiments completely destroyed, after all" He was joking, but there was a hidden edge to it. An accusatory tone, buried deep underneath. Raphael resisted the urge to flinch. Just then, the purple-banded turtle seemed to realize something, and looked past his older brother's shoulder. Mikey gave a hesitant wave.

"Oh no. No no no no." Donnie scowled and went to shut the door again, but Raph stuffed a foot between the door and the wall, preventing him from closing it.

"Speakin' of 'destroyed stuff', Mikey wanted to talk to ya" he pointed his thumb at him.

"Well I don't want to see him. Or talk to him" he stubbornly replied, applying more force to the door. Raph gritted his teeth. Mikey looked down, fidgeting anxiously.

"I know ya don't, but he's got a present. Like–a _food_ kind of present! And I want to _eat_ it! So come. Out!" he huffed.

"No! If you want your present so much, then go get it yourself!" Donnie's eyes locked on his green ones defiantly. Raph's brow twitched. He turned to look at Mikey and didn't like what he saw. His normally bright blue eyes were clouded over in a look of so much hurt and grief that it was just plain _wrong_. He wasn't supposed to look like this. He was never supposed to look like this. Yes, he was a little brat, and a nuisance and he irritated Raphael to no ends. Yes, he hit him and mocked him and sometimes ignored him.

But...

But he also wanted to protect him, and make him happy, and keep him safe. He was able to bring joy to their family, make dull days fun by playing games with them, cheering Raph up when he was down. Putting on Donnie's ragged lab coat and pretending to be a great scientist. Cuddling against Splinter whenever he caught him staring longingly into his old family's photo. He always seemed to know what others were feeling, like an empath, and made it better. He was the glue that kept them together. And Raph loved him. He loved him ever since he was told he would have a new baby brother. He loved him ever since he first held him in his hands, terrified he'd accidentally drop him. And Mikey had _laughed_. He had laughed and chirped and wrapped his tiny, _tiny_ hand around his finger, and Raph knew he had to protect him.

But there was also Donnie. Donnie, who was the being that first came into the world, making him a big brother for the first time. Donnie, who always worried and fussed over the smallest of injuries. Who cared about them and taught them new things. The brightest mind out of all of them. The doctor of the family. His scent trailed of smoke and light chemicals and it smelled like home. Plus, his knew inventions were all solely for the family and the Lair's safety. They were almost never for him. Selfess, caring, shy Donnie. He was so insecure about himself, and specially about his tooth gap, although Raph (over his dead shell) would admit that added to his charm. He rarely became angry, but when he did, it was for a good reason, and when he became determined about something his eyes would light up with untamed fire, and he would carry on doing whatever he set his mind on until he finished it or passed out trying. He also loved his little purple brother to death.

So here Raph stood, faced with two choices. Torn between his two brothers. 

....

_GAAAHHH!_

STUPID. _MUSHY_. _**FEELINGS!!**_.

"Donnie." he growled. Said turtle frowned.

"Raph–"

"Shh. Let me talk. Just, open the door, and let's go where Mikey wants us to go. Just to try it out. If you don't like whatever he's prepared, then you can go and lock yourself up again. Deal?"

"..."

"Just for a moment Donnie. I pwomise It'll be worth it" Mikey smiled hesitantly.

Donnie seemed to consider his two options carefully. The seconds stretched and felt like hours. Finally, Donnie let up on the pressure he was putting on the door and stepped out his lab.

"...Okay."

Mikey beamed, and Donnie pouted, and Raph could breathe a little easier at last. 

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Leo stopped pacing back and forth, like he'd been doing for the past minutes. Mikey had been out longer that he expected. What had gone wrong? Then he heard three pairs of footsteps approaching and heaved a sigh of relief. Splinter, who was sitting at the table, perked up his ears too.

"We're heeeere! Wait! Don't open your eyes yet!" 

Mikey carefully guided his two brothers over to the table, blindfolded with their own masks. Raphael, Leo noted amusedly, was drooling, and had his tongue out of his mouth like a dog. Donnie seemed apprehensive, but he could see how interested he became in their little 'presents'. They did smell pretty good after all. And he bet they tasted even better. It was a shame he couldn't eat them. Oh well.

"You did it Mikey!" he cheered. Mikey gave him a thumbs up, smiling widely, and finished sitting his older brothers at the table, each one in front of their specific treat. 

"And in one... two....THREE! OPEN YOUR EYES!"

Raph all but ripped his mask off his face, and gaped at his plate, starry eyed. Donnie took off his blindfold as well and stared astonishingly at the delicious cake. Silence reigned for a few seconds before Raphael 'wowed' and attacked his chocolate pudding, Donnie right behind him, all previous dignity seemingly forgotten. Splinter watched them with a knowing smile, and Mikey laughed whenever they made a funny sound while trying to stuff the whole thing in their mouths. Leo smiled softly. Seems like he was worrying over nothing, after all. He should've known Mikey had it under control.

After they finished, plates licked clean, they were showered with praise. Mikey had proudly puffed out his chest and declared he did the vanilla pudding all by himself.

However, as the seconds ticked by, the silence became heavy again , and Splinter decided it was time to acknowledge the elephant in the room. He coughed lightly and shoot his youngest a knowing glance.

"I am quite glad you two enjoyed your presents, my sons. However, I believe this was not the only reason why Michelangelo brought you here, am I correct?" Raph's eyes locked on Mikey. Donnie's brows furrowed together. Mikey blushed and looked at Leo for support. Said turtle gave him a gentle nod of encouragement. Mikey took a deep breath. He could do this, he was sure of it.

"U-um...I wanted to do this for you guys 'cuz...'cuz I know I was weally mean to you. What I did was wrong, so." 

"...I'm sowwy, Raphie, for putting that roach in your bed. I didn't realize it scared you....and I know how much you hate roaches, so I won't do it again." Hesitant eyes met piercing green ones, but, looking deep into them, he couldn't find any hate or rejection. This made him a little braver, and he continued, this time more firmly.

"And I'm sowwy about what I did to your lab, Donnie. I should've hid somewhere else, 'cuz I know you keep important stuff there, or at least stopped when you told me to. I understand if you can't forgive me, but–just" Why was he such a crybaby? He rubbed at his eyes, lower lip trembling. He felt Splinter's hand in his shoulder, warm and reassuring, and he hiccuped a bit more, before he dared to meet his brothers' eyes. They had been silent this whole time, but looking at them, he realized they didn't look mad or anything bad. Raph smirked, and hopped off his chair to pat Mikey on the head.

"Alright, alright, you big doofus. I get it." That was Raph language for 'I forgive you' and Mikey giggled, resting his little hand on top of his brother's. Then his smile dimmed a bit and he turned hesitantly to look at Donnie. He had this pensive look on his face, and his mouth set on a thin line, but as their eyes met, he sighed and his forehead smoothed out. He also walked towards them and put a hand on his other shoulder.

"...I'm still a bit upset, but I know it wasn't all your fault. Plus, you admitted you were wrong and apologized. So I forgive you too, Mikey. I can remake the chemical solutions I was doing, anyway. It'll just take a little longer." He rested his warm red eyes on Mikey, and smiled kindly. The little turtle felt fuzzy all over his body and his eyes were wet with tears of happiness. He jumped and hugged his two older brothers as tight as he could, and while they where embracing, he opened one eye and looked at Leo, who was at Splinter's side, looking proud. He mouthed 'thanks' and Leo's smile widened.

Leo always knew what to do!

_His brother really was the best._


	4. Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author Note

Hi guys, just to let you know, I won't be posting here for some time. Keep reading if you like, I just need to rant a bit and get this off my chest.

The thing is, my cat died today.

He was sick for some time, with an illness that is mortal for cats. If one has it, the vets usually assume the worst right off the bat.

He was getting thinner every day, and never meowed anymore. He didn't eat. He didn't play. Just now, a few minutes earlier, he lied in my parents' bed with his eyes open, unmoving and not really looking at anything. We knew it was time.

We kept him company through it all, and pet him or just put our hand in his paws to let him know we were there. He wasn't blinking, so I don't really think he saw us anymore.

Every now and again, he would raise his head up and meow, as if to ask if we were still there. Then, when we cooed at him and pet him, he would find the strength to purr.

My dad left just now, to put him down for good. We had lost another cat a few years ago to another sickness, and had made the mistake of letting him live longer–and therefore suffer longer, with the hope that he would recover somehow. We didn't want that for this one.

Our other cat, Holly, just stood by looking confused. I don't think she understood.

Needless to say, we're all heartbroken, so I'll be taking some time off.

But I don't want to remember him like that.

His name was Frankie. My mom chose his name. We got him off a shelter, along with Holly.

He was the kindest kitty you could imagine. The calm, chill side to his sister's relentless energy. He had a brief cold when we took him in, still a kitten, but he was never too tired to play or ask for pats on the head. His purring was _really_ loud. He didn't like us to carry him. He _loved_ the laser pointer. He was never very bright, and was kinda clumsy, but made up for it being the cutest cat ever. We loved him to no ends. We still do. And he loved us. He found the courage to purr until the end, after all.

It may be sad now, I know. But at least he won't suffer anymore. I just couldn't stand seeing him so bad.

Thank you for understanding.

I'll miss you Frankie.

Goodbye.


	5. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy guys. So, college is kicking my butt and I have tons of homework, but I'll still try to find the time to post now and again, so please be patient with me. Enjoy! ^ ^

"One more time!"

Three groans could be heard ringing around the dojo. The turtles had been doing simple katas and fighting techniques, their master teaching them both individually and in groups. 

Mikey had to admit, training was really cool! You learned how to jump and dodge, and kick and punch, and a really neat trick called 'disappearing in the shadows', but he hadn't mastered it yet. Raph was the most advanced out of al of them, and it made sense, since he had been training since long before Mikey was born, and now, with 13 years of age, he showed a promising future as a ninja and sai wielder. Donnie, too. His immediate older brother preferred doing weird mathematical equations and chemistry stuff than fighting, but the 11 year old was really good with his bo staff too. Mikey himself was not bad with his nunchucks, and he could jump really high and was really fast, but he got distracted too easily, as master Splinter said. 

Training was cool, but it started being un-cool after 3 hours of training. _Three whole hours!_ Mikey could barely stand to be quiet and listen for 3 minutes, how could he resist three hours? The 9 year old was already tired, sweaty, and bored out of his mind, and he was only still up because he kept baiting himself with the promise of video games after training. A promise that, with Splinter's latest order, looked to be fading more and more. He sighed loudly, melodramatically, hoping for his sensei to be touched by his puppy eyes and to let them rest, but no such luck. The only response he got was a ' _shush_ Mikey' from his final and eldest brother, Leonardo.

Leonardo had grown up in pace with them, and now, since Mikey knew they all were 2 years older than the other, he placed Leo in the age of 15. Just the proper age to 'lead the Hamato clan', as master Splinter put it. The thought made him frown. He said that, but the old rat had still named _Raph_ leader of the team, and not Leo, in spite of the latter's _obviously_ better skills. Mikey had tried to make him understand, and tried suggesting Leo for the spot, but he had only received concerned (?) glances and a mocking laugh from Raph. Sensei hadn't said anything, and had just left with a deep crease in his brow. Mikey had been a little mad that day, despite Leo assuring him that it was fine, and that he couldn't be a good leader anyway, because they couldn't see him. That wasn't true! Just because Mikey was the only one who could see him didn't mean he would be bad at it! Or that he wasn't real either. The thought never failed to make his blood boil. He knew Leo was different. His family couldn't see him, or touch him, or hear him or talk to him, but Mikey could. His brother was weird and different, but he _was_ **real**. And he wouldn't hear anything else.

Besides, Leo was the best for the leader spot because Raph, as much as Mikey loved him, was arrogant and sometimes mean and Leo was never mean. And he knew how to make plans quickly, like when the two of them played knights, besides being really smart and brave and strong and–well, he could go on and on about Leo's skills, but the point was that he was better than Raph. At least to be the leader. And he had told Raph so, and Raph got mad but Mikey didn't back down.

And even now, looking at Leo effortlessly replicating the move master Splinter taught them, katanas turning into a blur in the air, Mikey could only be left to ask himself _why_ he wasn't the leader.

Speaking of katanas. Everyone had been given their real weapons a few months back. They stopped training with the wooden sais and the plush bo staff, and moved on to real, combat, metal, _cool_ weapons, like Mikey's nunchucks. And that day Leo was a little off, and Mikey had asked what was wrong, and Leo had said he was a bit sad he didn't have a weapon, and then he had brushed it off and smiled, but Mikey was left thinking about it. And then he had gone to sleep after practice and thought about how nice would it be for Leo to have his own weapons, because Leo loved practicing and training more than anything else, maybe because imitating master Splinter made him feel more... _seen_ , more useful, somehow. So Mikey had pressed his eyes together tight and wished and _wished_ with all his might, despite having no idea what Leo would like and despite not having a wishing star like the books said. And then the day after, Leo had woken him up excitedly, bouncing in his bed, and Mikey was wide awake because what made Leo so happy? And then–and then. Leo had showed him the coolest, most _radical_ weapons _ever_. Twin katanas, shiny and new. The two were flabbergasted, and had no idea how they appeared, but Mikey saw the smile on his brother's face and he didn't mind so much.

In summary, Mikey was happy with his training, happy with his nunchucks, and happy with his brothers and sensei, but _man, was this boring sometimes._

"S-sensei, we've been doing this for _three_ hours straight, can't we rest already? _Please_?" Donnie pleaded, sweat rolling off his face. 

"Yeah, Sensei, dont'cha think enough is enough? Besides, we already know all this stuff, what are we even practicin' fer?" Raph huffed, putting a hand on his hip.

"Please Sensei, I'm positive I'll _melt_ if I don't stop right now, honest!" Mikey finished, tongue hanging off his mouth and panting for effect. 

"Come on, you guys! This isn't so hard!" Leo argued, knowing they couldn't hear him, but saying it anyways.

"That's 'cuz we're not Mr.Mc'Perfect, sir!" Mikey complained.

"I'm not 'perfect', Mikey, this is because I _train,_ unlike you all." Leo rolled his eyes, but with fondness.

Donnie gave Mikey a funny look, and Raph plain out ignored him, focusing his eyes on the ninjutsu master again, who was looking at his youngest pensively. 

"C'mon Sensei, please?"

Splinter stroked his beard reflexively, like he always did when he was weighting his options. At last, after a few seconds, he stopped his musing and talked.

"....Very well. There will be no more training today"

Three relieved sighs, and one disappointed whine.

"There will be a test"

"What?!"

"Huh?"

"No way!"

"Really?"

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

I shouldn't have said anything, Mikey thought desperately. _We should have kept our mouths shut!_

The youngest was trembling in anticipation and (well admittedly, fear) as he stood as straight as he could between Raph and Donnie, in the center of the dojo. First, the prospect of a test was like a surprise on his mind, a foreign activity, and thus: fun! They didn't do tests, really–all their lives training with master Splinter alone. Plus, the old master saw that their sons had a unique sense of competitiveness, and a strong desire to be the best they could be, so he did not include any kind of tests in their training schedule. Granted, competitiveness wasn't a bad thing, and it should have worked well to push them to their limits, but when he tried a simple technical exercise with a prize, things had fallen apart quickly. That gave birth to The Algae Incident...they didn't talk about that anymore. However, this time seemed to be different.

"Alright. We will be doing a test to measure your abilities, and determine if you are fit to be ninjas. This activity will let me see if you can step into the next level of ninjutsu"

Mikey gulped. 

"...And if we fail?" He asked meekly. The rat's eyes bore through him, burning with expectations. It was hard not to feel crushed by it. He wanted nothing more than to make his father proud.

"Then, you will cease your training and will not move on to the following kyu* until you master this level." He sentenced.

Donnie's eyes widened in shock, and Raphael cracked his knuckles, a determined look on his green eyes. Leo's hands were slightly trembling, but he gave Mikey an encouraging smile when he looked in his direction. He couldn't do the test, since it would be a little difficult to judge his level without being able to see him, but he had sat down next to Splinter to watch. The ninjutsu master slowly walked over the front, chin held high. In that moment, Mikey could see the warrior inside his father. The way he carried himself, confident and strong, cane in hand. The way his dark eyes swept across each one of them. Unconsciously, the youngest stood a little straighter. The rat cleared his throat. The three turtles leaned forward in anticipation. Mikey crossed his fingers in his minds. _Please be something I know, please be something I know....nunchucks! high jumps, anything!..._

"We will be reviewing kata number fifteen, on both sides. Then, you will engage in a small combat with your brothers, where you will need to use the kata at least two times. Do your best, my sons"

Mikey's stomach dropped so far down he was sure it trespassed the floor. Of all the katas that existed in the world, it had to be number fifteen! His _worst_! He could never do the complex bending of the legs, and he always lost balance while spinning around, plus his footwork was always terrible! He could practically feel his brother's gazes burning the sides of his head. They all knew he was far behind them in number fifteen, and fairly so, too. The orange masked turtle knew it was his own fault. All the kata focused classes were so boring and dull to him, he never really payed attention to the moves master Splinter taught them, and ended up having to ask Leo about them; something that he should know already was so alien to him! Mikey felt his knees wobbling like jelly. What was he going to do?! He needed a plan, or something, he needed–

_"Hajime!"_

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

In the end, there was no time for him to think about a solution. He went through the test in a daze, images of katas and sais and bo staffs blurring by. The minutes ran along quickly, and he could feel a thin sheet of sweat on his forehead; something that did not have to do with the exercise. He tried, he really did, but, in the end, watching his older brothers' superior performance, feeling their blows against his skin, and noticing the critical look in master Splinter's eyes, he knew he had been the worst. And by the time it was all over, he knew the result before the rat opened his mouth. 

He failed.

He failed miserably. Everything said so. The pictures seemed to be mocking him, the colors in the room seemed just a tad darker. The pitying pats on his back Raphael gave him were empty and fake, as were Donnie's encouraging smiles. And Splinter...oh, he was the worst. He told Mikey all he already knew. His feet were wrong, his attacks were weak, his posture insecure and shaky. He, of course, told him he could do better, and that he could catch up in no time, but it all seemed muted to Mikey. He didn't feel the gentle hug Splinter gave him. He didn't see him silently exiting the room. He could only hear those words replaying over and over inside his head, on loop. _You failed_.

That night, he retired to his room early, not wanting to encounter his brothers' excited faces, and Splinter's proud smile. He couldn't go to the kitchen either, to cook to calm himself down, like he had done ever since Leo and him had baked the goodies for their siblings when he was 5. Mikey had a knack for cooking, and he found it fun as well. He sighed. Seemed like he would have to stick with becoming a chef, now that his ninja career had been ended. He felt his eyes start to itch, and he rubbed them furiously. Crying now would only make his brother's mock him again! Huffing when a particularly strong laugh from Raph boomed across the Lair, the youngest turtle closed the door, jumping in bed and burying himself under the blankets, surrounded in darkness. 

_Failure. You failed._

Mikey sniffed, stifling his sobs in his pillow. Not even his superhero comics could cheer him up now. He didn't even want pizza! And he _always_ wanted food! In the cold, empty room, he felt the loneliness creeping up on him. Mikey was a turtle of feelings. He charged himself on people, and touch, and conversations. This loneliness was _not_ helping his low mood. He knew the others were trying to give him space, waiting to approach him later, but he really wished someone would just step up and say _'it's fine, Mikey! You will be an excellent ninja one day!'_ or something along those lines. Anything!

The freckled turtle cried silently, listening to the sounds of music and dishes and laughter from the living room. _Sounds like they're having fun_. He thought bitterly. Eventually though, as the first hours of late night rolled up (well, late night in the _Lair_ ) everyone turned in. Raph's door locked with a bang, and Donnie's with a quiet click. After hearing Master Splinter's door slide closed, Mikey sat in his bed, and buried his face in his hands. He was never going to become a ninja. Never. Never ever ever! He felt tears dropping again. Just then, the door to his room opened slowly, and Mikey's blurry vision identified the newcomer as Leo.

"Hey Mikey. How are you feeling?" he asked softly. Mikey scoffed.

"Great." Leo flinched. Normally he wasn't so dry, but this night the normal Michelangelo had decided to jump off a cliff and take a vacation.

The blue-banded turtle approached the bed, accommodating at his side before neatly folding his legs underneath him, in the traditional Ninjutsu posture. His hand found Mikey's head in the dark and started petting him. Back and forth, back and forth. The rhythm helped a little, just a tiny bit, and his tears slowly stopped falling. They sat a long time in silence, Leo not saying anything, until Mikey choked out:

"It's just–it's not fair" 

Leo stared at his baby brother, empathy in his blue eyes.

"I know Mikey, but you brought this on yourself" he whispered. Suddenly, Mikey spun around, untangling the sheets and scooting away from Leo until he was pressed against the wall.

"I _know_! I know, okay?! I know it was my fault for not paying attention, for not being the _perfect_ student you guys are! I want to be a ninja too! I want it more than almost _anything_ , but now I can't because I screwed up! I will never be a ninja, I failed! _I'm a failure!_ " he wailed, tears coming fast once more.

Leo opened his eyes wide before narrowing them, his arm coming to grab Mikey's face and make him look at him. Surprised at the harsh movement, the orange-masked turtle's sobs quieted down, looking into his big brother's eyes.

Leo was _furious_.

"Listen Michelangelo. You will never, _ever_ think about yourself like that again. You hear me?!"

"I–"

"Shut up and listen to me. You are _not_ a failure. So you didn't pass the exam. So what? You're just going to break to pieces and let those thoughts consume you?!" he was almost yelling at that point, voice firm and clear.

"Life isn't always going to be sun and rainbows Mikey. There will be times when you fail, when everything's looking hopeless. What will you do then? Will you give up?" his voice had gone down a little, but the steel in his eyes was still pining Mikey under his scrutiny. A few more seconds and he realized Leo was looking for an answer.

"No..."

"And will you call yourself a failure? Are you a failure Mikey?"

"..."

"Mikey. You are _not_ a failure. You're literally the only one who can cook a decent meal here! No one can master the nunchucks like you can! You jump higher than anyone else! Is that not enough for you?" Mikey stayed silent, but he wasn't crying anymore.

"You are not a failure. You're my brother, and I love you. So does Raph, and Donnie and especially Splinter. You are _loved_ "

He nodded, warmth spreading through his plastron and all the way to his heart.

"What are you Mikey?" Leo asked with an air of finality.

This time Mikey didn't hesitate.

"I'm loved" he smiled. Leo mirrored it.

"There you go" 

Mikey then tackled Leo in a crushing hug, rubbing his face on his shoulder. Leo chuckled but let him do his thing. A few minutes passed.

"Hey Mikey?"

"Yeah?"

"You still wanna be a ninja?"

\--------------------------------------------------------

"Master Splinter? Can I talk to you?" Michelangelo stood in front of Splinter with a serious look in his eyes, something very uncommon for him.

"Of course my son" Splinter replied, puzzlement seeping into his eyes as his youngest son stared at him. Raphael and Donatello, who were in the kitchen looking through the fridge, looked up at the same time, obviously catching the firmness in the freckled turtle's behavior.

The day had started out as any other, perhaps a little bit quieter from Michelangelo's part, but that was to be expected from yesterday's failure. Splinter was quite eager to comfort his son, but he hadn't found the right time to do so. However, with his youngest's next words, it was clear he did not have to. Although Splinter _did_ want to. Michelangelo looked as if he had not slept for a single second, as deep bags were darkening his normally bright blue eyes.

"I would like to re-take the test, Sensei"

Now, that was a surprise. Usually Michelangelo would sulk in his room for a while, yes, but Splinter did not think he would bounce up so terribly _soon_ and try to take the test once again. And for that, he thought with a pang of guilt, he was partly to blame. It seemed to the rat that he had underestimated his youngest's ability to stay determined once more. Now, though, looking at him, he saw a valiant child, with a firm stance, ready to take on whatever challenges he might have to face. 

Splinter did not know whether it was because of old age or fatherhood, but in that moment, he could have sworn he saw himself in the turtles' eyes, young and reckless, and felt a quite distinct prickling behind his eyes. However, he blinked repeatedly to make it go away and after evaluating his son for a few more seconds, he rested a hand in his shoulder and said

"Very well"

It was all he could say without getting choked up, after all.

\------------------------------------------

Mikey passed with flying colors.

His posture was perfect, his blows strong.

He managed to kick Donnie's staff off his hands twice, and he could even land a solid hit on Raph's plastron, making him stagger. He was smiling too wide and his cheeks hurt, but it didn't matter, because he passed!

Sensei hugged him, keeping him close and murmuring "I'm so proud of you, my son" with a watery voice. It was almost enough for him to start crying too.

Donnie and Raph congratulated him with loud voices, and he got to eat his favorite foods that night. It was the best he ever felt in a long time. The feeling would be even better if Leo was there, but he had turned in after their late night training. He never did well when sleepless, after all. He also felt the second oldest turtle eyeing him strangely after the celebration was over. He paid it no mind. They discussed his success, and they were all surprised (and a little suspicious) by how much he had improved, seemingly overnight. Donnie had jokingly stated it was witchcraft, and demanded he told them how he'd done it. He'd just beamed at them, he'd had a great teacher after all!

"Leo helped me train, he taught me the kata!"

Silence coated the atmosphere for a few seconds, and Mikey wondered if it was the wrong thing to say. But it was the truth!

Then Splinter offered some more pizza and the awkwardness was, apparently, forgotten. _(Try as he might, though, Mikey couldn't shake the feeling of a worried pair of eyes on him the rest of the night.)_

At bedtime, he slept tangled up on the top of his bunk bed, grasping another green hand tightly in his own, smiling in a light sleep. The hand rubbed his back lovingly, and Mikey cuddled closer.

Leo really _was_ amazing!

.

.

.

.

Before dawn, Mikey was too deeply asleep to notice the sobs that filled the room.


	6. Danger

Leo was excited.

The moonlight seeped through the cracks in the Lair, painting the place a pale blue. He could hear his brother's breathing next to him, and Sensei's worried gaze, but he paid it no mind, choosing to stare at the exit that was just within his grasp. Something inside of him told him to stay alert at all times, and berated himself for not paying attention to his Sensei's instructions, but a larger, stronger part of him was almost bursting with joy, like a burning kettle. He supposed that was the part of him that was still a teenager, expectant and ready to go on an adventure. He wanted to jump, to shout happily, he wanted to sprint to the manholes and see the city that had always been there and he had never been able to see. But that behavior was, in his opinion, a little bit childish, so he settled for tapping his foot impatiently on the cold ground. 

_Come on Leonardo, you're 16, get a hold of yourself!_

...How could he, though?

Today was the day, after all.

They were finally going to leave the Lair!

Convincing Splinter had been a nightmare to accomplish. The past year had been really quiet in terms of vandalism and the minor crimes that occasionally came to their homes,(such as teenagers eating what Leo was certain was _not_ sugar) and Donnie, Raph and Mikey had all improved in their training enough to be considered a pretty threatening group. 

Training...

Leo remembered Mikey's success with a smile. He had been so happy, Splinter had been so proud. Of course, he had been incredibly proud too, love filling his chest until he was sure it was about to burst. That night had been full of celebration and laughter, such a happy atmosphere...up until Mikey mentioned him. Leo knew Mikey had no ill intentions, and he had only been telling the truth. Leo _had_ helped him train the other night, after all. Leo also knew he, himself, was different. He didn't know why, or how, but his existence resembled more a ghost than an actual person. He had tried on several occasions to remember where he had come from, but to no avail. The farthest back he could actually remember was when he was suddenly staring at a baby's face. No memories before that, no emotions, not even black. Just...nothing. His first thought after seeing the green bundle was that he was very cute, and he had smiled at the tiny creature, before being startled when the baby smiled back at him. Later he had tried to recognize his surroundings, but the only thing he could process was the fact that he was underground. After seeing the giant rat creature stalk about the place with two little turtles in tow, he had tried to talk to them, or get their attention, but they never looked back at him the way the baby did. He tried everything. Laughing at them, crying, making weird noises. Then, he had realized that something was truly wrong with him when he tried to topple over a bowl to get the rat's attention and his hand had phased right through. He had been so badly scared that he had outright screamed, but he was even more astonished to see that the green baby turtle jumped in fear and followed his scream with a wail of his own. He was the only one who could see him. In that moment, he felt terribly lonely and had wept bitterly for the rest of the night. However, looking at the watery eyes of the baby–who was still looking at him even as the rat rocked him in his arms–somehow made the pain in his chest dim.

The rest was history. Mikey grew, and Leo grew with him, and he watched Ralph and Donnie grow as well. He had laughed with them, cried with them, unseen and unheard. Mikey's presence and unwavering support helped with the pain of being ignored, and the training helped him focus on something other than the fact that he was practically tied to Mikey's existence (He was aware that he could leave whenever he wanted, but the thought of being all alone with no one to see him or to talk to made him panic). For the most part, life was good. Some nights were hard, of course, but ultimately, Leo had no resentment towards his family and loved them all.

"Be careful, my sons"

Leo was snapped out of his unintended trip down memory lane by Splinter's voice. His brothers cheered and ran for the exit, glad to finally be able to leave. Leo made the motion to follow, but looked back at the rat one last time. Out of respect and affection, he bowed deeply, before following the rest.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The surface was as bright as Leo had imagined, maybe even more.

The few books they had always talked about bright cities, loud parties and they always had plenty of colorful pictures depicting the place (Except for Donnie's books. Those, Leo couldn't even begin to comprehend). But this? 

This was so much better.

Everyone was speechless as they took in the city. Lights shone brightly from almost every source they could see, a mix of reds and purples and blues that formed a rainbow of color that made Leo dizzy. Cars honked in the distance, and, although there wasn't anyone to be seen in their general vicinity, faint music could be heard from one of the apartments, muffled shouts and singing reaching their ears. Briefly, Leo noticed that, behind them, a dirty alleyway stretched on for a short distance, containing garbage cans filled to the brim with a variety of things, trash ranging from apple cores to a confusing brownish blob that Leo chose not to dwell on. A person was lying down on the ground as well, back to them, with ragged clothes and snoring deeply. The turtle grimaced slightly, and instead, looked at the city lights some more.

"C'mon guys!" Raph exclaimed, excitement coloring his words. The normally serious and "grown up" 14 year old turtle couldn't contain a little spring in his step as he lead his brothers out of the alleyway and into the night. The smells radiated from every corner, and the glass of the various stores they looked through contained a series of different artifacts that intrigued every member of the team, mostly Donnie, since he actually knew what most of those were. Mikey had been entranced by some changing lights that were shaped to look like a hand and an eye, and Raph had to physically drag him away from there. Leo didn't see any katanas though, to his small disappointment. 

_"AARGH!"_

Leo turned his head around so fast he nearly got whiplash. He started moving towards the threat, only to stop short when he was met with only a bunch of smoke, and then, laughter. 

Laughter that sounded like Raph's.

"Raph! Don't be like that! You scared the poor man away!" Donnie whined.

Leo released the breath he didn't know he was holding. As he watched the man in the motorcycle speed away screaming with amusement, and admittedly, a little bit of guilt, he noticed Mikey crouched next to a piece of cardboard shaped like a square. 

"What'cha got there, Mikey?"

"I...don't actually know. It looks like a funny frisbee or something" the youngest turtle muttered curiously, lifting the cardboard gingerly and peeking at it with a critical eye from all angles. That's when Leo noticed the smell coming from the box. Strange, slightly greasy...but not unpleasant. It didn't smell like algae at all, or some of the simple dishes Mikey sometimes cooked. Actually, he recognized this a little bit. He had caught a similar smell coming from one of the stores on the street. Faded, sure, but it was still there. Could it be...?

"Mikey, I think it's...food"

"Really?! Cool! Guys, come here, check this out!" Mikey immediately took Leo's word for what was in the box and called out to his older brothers excitedly. 

"What is that Mikey?" Donnie asked, scanning the object with his eyes as he approached with Ralph.

"I found this box on the ground, the guy on the motorcycle was carrying it in the back, but when Raph scared him, he dropped it! Leo says it might be food!" he said, a big smile on his face. The freckled turtle loved food, and never passed up the opportunity to try something new.

The two turtles frowned at the box pensively, ignoring the part where Mikey mentioned him (and it shouldn't have stung still, after all these years, but somehow, it did) but getting the idea. Raph smirked and nodded to himself, lifting his head to look at the rooftops bathed in moonlight. Then he turned to face them fully, putting his hands on his hips.

"A'ight! Let's get up there on the roof and see what's in there!" he commanded, obviously happy that he was in charge, even if was only that night. Leo's mood dipped. That was technically not right. _He_ should have been the one in charge. He was the oldest. A sigh escaped his lips without his consent. How childish of him. Leo? In charge? When no one could even hear him? Yeah right. However, as the turtles jumped from rooftop to rooftop, he made a mental note to keep an eye on them anyway. He had vowed to protect all of them when he was old enough to understand what love meant, after all.

"Okay... easy, easy..." Donnie whispered, turning the box around on the floor of the rooftop they had chosen, treating the cardboard like it was sulfuric acid. (Unlike his brothers, Leo _did_ pay attention when Donnie ranted about his projects)

Mikey bounced his foot, and Raph rolled his eyes.

"Chill out, Don, 's not like it's going to explode or anythin'" he grumbled, impatient.

"You don't know that! What if it's a bomb, or it contains a deadly mixture of–"

"Oh for God's sake, gimme that!" Raph finally exploded, snatching the box from Donnies careful hands and ripping it open carelessly.

A heavenly smell filled the air.

Mikey drooled, and Donnie observed the circular food with a look of awe on his face. Even Raph had stars in his eyes. It looked delicious. All full of gooey, cheesy perfection and slices of red meat thrown about, crust making a satisfactory crunching sound as Mikey poked it with his finger. Not for the first time, Leo wished he could eat. It certainly looked delicious, so tasty looking he could almost hear the angels' bells ringing faintly on the horizon.

Wait, bells?

No, it sounded more like...rattling metal? And as the seconds passed, Leo was sure the sound wasn't in his head.

Something wasn't right.

Leo snapped his head up just in time to see approximately twenty figures dressed in black, wearing masks and as silent as the night enveloping them, a foot shaped mark on their chests, as red as blood. The rattling sound he head came from the ninja stars hanging from their belts, and Leo felt his face paling as he caught sight of the swords and weapons they carried with them. They were heading straight for them. Bolting into the defensive stance Splinter had drilled into them, he unsheathed his katana, the one weapon he had decided to bring in, what then seemed, a spur of the moment. He had brought only one, since it would be much too cumbersome to carry the two of them, but now he wished he would have brought a whole arsenal. Mikey's head looked at him in confusion, startled by his sudden movement.

 _"MIKEY, RUN!!"_ Leo shouted, voice rough with panic.

Mikey flinched at his tone of voice, but he finally caught sight of their assaulters and scrambled up in fear.

"Dudes, look!" he yelled, alerting Raph and Donnie.

"Wh–"

"Wait, who–?"

As the ninjas (for they could only be ninjas, couldn't they? The way they moved told him so) closed in on them, the three turtles entered their positions, wielding their weapons and pointing them at their enemies. Leo could see them shaking out of the corner of his eyes, in spite of the brave front they put. He gritted his teeth. They were kids! They were only still children! They were masters in martial arts, yes, and he knew they could knock a person out cold in seconds, but they were still only kids, and the only opponents they had had all those years had been Master Splinter and each other. The threat they faced now, on the other hand, outnumbered them by a huge amount, contained an unknown range of abilities, and had the lead on them, as they used the element of surprise to throw them off. What should he do?! _What should he do?!_ Should he–

The ninjas attacked.

The cold night air was filled with the sound of clashing metal and shouting, and Leo dove forward blindly, aiming his weapon at the ninja's head next to him, ready to protect his brothers and–

He phased right through.

The blue banded turtled was frozen in place. No. No no no no!

He slashed at another ninja. Nothing. He kicked and punched at one with a Gunto, a japanese cutlass. Nothing.

_NOTHING!_

"No! No!"

Leo's breathing picked up as he painfully watched his beloved brothers struggle to land a single blow. Struggle to defend themselves. They were outnumbered. They were outsmarted. He couldn't help them! Leo felt tears warming his wind-dry eyes as he fully understood that he couldn't do anything.

He was useless.

Useless!

Invisible, unheard, useless, _unreal_.

A failure.

Why did he exist, then? What was the purpose of him being there if he couldn't do the one thing he desired the most? Why was he here? 

What point did it have, watching Splinter wake up in the morning, praying at his late family's photograph? Feeling proud of Raphael when he first executed the triple jump successfully? Listening to Donnie's complicated rambling? Tucking Mikey in at night?

What use did it have? Loving them all, being fond of them, being exasperated with them? What use did it have? Wanting to make Splinter proud, wanting to be there when someone was feeling down? What use did it have to want to eat? To be tired, to be happy?

What point was there to feel anything when he couldn't even save his own family?

Tears ran down Leo's cheeks as the fight went on. The void that was always in him opened wide like a hungry black hole, leaving him anguished and desperate. Was this how it felt like? Being stabbed in the chest? He was desperate to do something, to help, anything! But how could he? He wasn't even real! Family was the most important thing, Splinter always said so, but he couldn't even–

Wait.

 _Splinter_.

That's it!

Leo wiped his eyes, clearing his blurry vision, and ran through the mass of ninjas as fast as his legs could carry him. For the first time in his life, he didn't try to duck, or dodge, or anything to pretend he was a solid, real person. He had no time for that now. He flew by and reached the edge of the rooftop.

"Leo!"

Leo nearly tripped. He turned his head. 

Mikey was trying to hold off two ninjas with his nunchucks tangled in their swords. His arms trembled with the effort, and his eyes were shiny as he stared at Leo like he would vanish at any second. Leo knew Mikey even more than he knew himself. He knew all his tics and habits, he knew when he was sad but pretending to be happy, and when he was about to burst into laughter but pretended to be all serious. He knew him from the first moment, from the first laugh, from the first step. So that's how he knew what that pleading look said.

_What are you doing?_

_Where are you going?_

_Don't leave me._

Leo's chest burned. Mikey trusted him. He leaned on him for support and even now, when Leo was useless, he wanted him to stay. 

Leo knew Mikey better than he knew himself. So he talked to him through his eyes, too, not trusting himself to speak.

_Trust me._

Mikey gulped, sweat shining on his forehead.

_Trust me._

Mikey panted and dodged an incoming attack, never taking his eyes off Leo.

_Trust me._

The freckled turtle's bottom lip trembled, and his eyes shone with unshed tears, but he finally nodded. His mouth moved, and Leo could just barely make out his words.

_Be careful._

The oldest Hamato son stood tall, and smiled as best he could, for his baby brother's sake, turning and jumping down all the way, sliding down the drain pipe all at once, like ripping off a band-aid. His breathing was the only sound he could hear as he sprinted down to the alleyway, heartbeat resounding in his ears like thunder.

If he couldn't do anything to protect them, then he would get someone that could.

 _Please_ , he pleaded to the sky.

Please, just for one minute.

I won't ask for anything anymore.

I don't need to eat. I don't need to train. I don't need to be seen, or heard.

You gave me my katanas.

You allowed Mikey to see me.

You created _me_ , for some reason.

...Maybe _this_ was the reason all along.

So please, just for one minute, tonight...

Please, make me real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me, your pal, and welcome to this episode of "Leo's existential crisis!"
> 
> Not gonna lie, though, that poor boy needs some cuddles.
> 
> In this AU, the boys left the Lair earlier than in canon (or, later, in Leo's case) because I needed them to be a bit younger for what I had planned. Also, since this story focuses on Mikey and Leo, we won't be seeing April and her dad, 'cause that would've opened a whole other can of worms.


	7. Unreal

Splinter had a bad feeling.

He had known ever since he had let his three sons out into the city.

The city. The _real_ _world_. Splinter shouldn't be worried, the city of New York, even though it was always buzzing with activity, grew calm at night, and the streets around their area were almost always empty. He had checked when he considered this place as one fit to live in. Even so, he could not help but conjure up to a thousand different deadly scenarios in his mind. Leftovers of his time in the Hamato clan, he supposed. There were such dangers in the city these days. Cars, electricity, animals, _people_. A shudder ran through him as he remembered one person in particular.

The old rat sat quietly, as still as a statue, in front of the picture of his beloved and his daughter. He went there every time he had doubts, or was afraid. He had fought against great evils, he had fought his brother (for, even counting all his misdeeds, he could not forget the little boy he played with), he had seen what hate and jealousy did to a person, he had witnessed his family perish, and he had been subjected to a monstrous transformation. He knew how to take out an enemy, how to fight a thousand wars, but fatherhood was a completely different battle. He sometimes found himself filled with regret at this new form, but when he stopped to think about the little turtle eggs he had purchased, when he thought about his _sons_ , he did not regret this at all. He didn't regret the sleepless nights, the worrisome fevers, the cold sewers, the constant hiding. He did not regret having a family, for, deep down, he thought this must have been heaven giving him another chance. And he would not waste it. 

His eyes traced his Tang Shen's fair face, engraving her dark eyes and her kind smile to his mind, as if the memory of her would disappear at any second. His mouth curled upwards in a smile at the sight of his child, just a baby, with such curious eyes, and chubby cheeks. So innocent.

"My beloved, how are you?" he whispered reverently, taking in the peaceful atmosphere in the picture.

"I am quite well, but I have this feeling in my chest..."

"My sons are grown up, and are strong and determined"

"I have trained them, and loved them as if they were my own. They _are_ my own"

"I know you would love to meet them, and would welcome them to the family"

"They are proper young men, skillful, and today, I have let them out on their own for the first time"

"I need not worry, I know. They have mastered the art of ninjustu well, and they can defend themselves. Raphael is there, as well, and I trust he will keep his brothers in line."

"My Tang Shen, I can almost hear your laughter, telling me I worry too much. It might be so, but what is a father if he is not worried about his children?"

"The world can be such a cold place, I know. And I have just let my only family go"

"I feel like I have wronged my sons somehow. I should trust them to take care of themselves, yet the pressing feeling in my heart has not dimmed"

"Perhaps I am being too paranoid. Perhaps I am simply experiencing normal worry, and not a foreboding"

"Perhaps, this cold feeling in my chest...is nothing"

\----------------------------------------------

The martial arts master exited his room at long last. His worry had not disappeared, but it had given away to something more manageable. As always, talking with Tang Shen, imagining her replies and what she would say, made him relax and his tense arms were now resting peacefully on top of his cane. He entered the kitchen, intending to make himself a cup of tea, however, a loud noise caused his razor sharp focus to pin in the source of the sound. Slowly, he walked towards the disturbance, and he gripped his cane tighter, fully intending to fight if it was necessary. It was much too early for his sons to be back, and nobody else knew this place existed. The only humans to come there had been teenagers and sometimes adults, and they always came through the other side of the place, staying in one place and then leaving. The sound, however, came through the manhole his sons had used to leave.

The spark of worry grew in his chest, but when he tilted his head upwards, he saw nothing but the night sky. The manhole cover had been moved from the outside, and Splinter hurriedly put it back, sliding fast around his home, looking for the perpetrator. Maybe they were already inside. He looked and turned and smelled everything. Furniture, weapons, rooms, he closed the doors one by one, securing them, so that if that someone came back to find a place to hide, they would be blocked. 

Splinter looked for a long time, to no avail. However, he refused to believe it had been his imagination. The beeping of the old kettle startled him, and he hurriedly made his way to the kitchen, turning it off. The biscuits he had prepared sat untouched on the tiny plate. He wasn't hungry anymore. A furry hand dragged across his muzzle. What had been that sound? No one was there, were they? Maybe another teenager or a homeless person had come down and went along, passing the Lair completely. Splinter knew it was probably wishful thinking, but he couldn't come up with anoth–

The biscuit plate dropped down.

Splinter jumped and swung his cane in a defensive posture, looking around. The plate was broken, the cookies scattered around. His eyes wildly scanned his surroundings. No one could have come up to him unnoticed. Pride aside, Splinter was one of the strongest warriors he knew, and though he was getting old, he could still detect a threat at a long distance, let alone _right in front of him._

Splinter was actually debating whether he had eaten something poisonous that could cause hallucinations, when a forgotten fork from breakfast floated– _what_ –into the air and smashed down on the floor.

"Who is there? Show yourself!" Splinter's voice boomed and echoed off the walls. 

For a beat, everything was silent. The moonlight slipped through the cracks in the ceiling, and Splinter thought he saw a shadow move, but when he pointed his cane in that direction, no one was there. 

Illogically, he could only think of the yokais that sometimes appeared in the forest close to his home when he was young, but he knew such things appreciated the darkness and quiet of the nature more than the lights and noise of the city. There were no yokais in New York. And yet...

And yet.

"Who are you?" he asked, more softly, but still steely.

"S̴̯̜̟̜͈̗̬͖̩͔͍̖̈̊̽̓̈́͑̒̌̐̿̌͆͆̇͂̽̈́̕͘̕͠͝͝p̸͎͕̘̯̠̫̫̠̫͕̹̆̃͛͋̉̋͂̀̓̒̂͛̽̅́͆̇͝͠ļ̸̯̩͓͕͇͇̲͉̹̺͎͓̝͎͖̤̦̤̜̦̋̆̎̎̾̐̒͋͛̋̋͘͝͠͝ì̷̳̪͈̲̬̠̤̅̉̒̋̏̀͑̔̑̔͑͒̈́̚̕͝n̸̢̟̟̘̳̰̖̯̥̝̱̹̳̖͎̫̟͇͇͔̝̣̩̽͊̐̒͗͜t̶̢̹̳͖͈͓͓͙͙͉́̈̉͒͛̈̉̈͜͝͝͝ͅẹ̵̦̭͈̰̙̥̊͌̋͛͒̓̑̔̿͒̓̒̃̔̅͌̕̕̕͠͝r̵̨̧̨̛͎̲̹̤̦̪̖͈͖̫͍̞͔̮͕̤̫̠̅͛̈́͗̈̄͂͆̾͒̒̈̆̍́̍̕̚͘͝!̵̨͚̝̥̫̪͚̜͉͈̖̤͉̝̦͚͓͔̟̇̎͆͠ͅ ̸̧̢͇̪̜̳̪͉͍͇̯̲̙̱̲̬͎̘͖͎̺̦̘͒̉̑̎̈́̏͌̈͑̊̈́̐̿͝S̶̡̛̛͇̻̻̹͖̠̠̝̩̃̏̈́̍͐̐̈̔͛̂̌̆̋̆̈́̕͘̕p̸͓̔̐̚͝ļ̶̙͕̖͚̣̦͍͇̤̬́̐̋̍̍͗̓̽͑͝ì̵̛̠͔͖̓̔̽̈͋̆͐̈̏̍̽̆̌̐͋̂̆͠͠ņ̷̧̠̲̼̺̝̭̬̣͍̍̇̈́̄͆̎̑̆̾͑͗̽̃̏͐̋̋̆̽̾̚̕t̸̡̹̞͍̰̩̰̣̲̳͔̳͎̗͕͎̣͙̍̿͑̏̾̅̇̌̽̇̇̔͘͜͜͝ḙ̸̡̧̢̛̛̲͉̘̺̭̫̩̫͓̰͎͉̬̹̺͂͛͑̽̓͊́̏͘͝ṛ̴̨̫̤̳̹͇͖͉͎̪̲͎͓͎͙̳͔̖̥̻̯̞͕̯́͌̌͂!̶̨̠̰̻̜̰̦̖̰͎̗̇̿͆̓̐̔̓͊͊̾̕"

A faint buzzing sound filled his sensitive ears, and he twitched. His face remained stony as he strained to listen. He had a horrible feeling. On nights such as these, with the moon lighting the place...It was a highly wild guess, but if it _was_ a yokai...

Yokais were playful spirits, or vengeful spirits, ranging from tiny toad-like creatures to beastly monsters. Some came to play, or to cause havoc.

Some came as a warning.

As the buzzing increased in volume, and the pit of foreboding in his stomach caved in more and more, Splinter thought the worry may not have been misplaced after all. His sons could be in danger. But Splinter was nothing if not cautious, and he needed to confirm if this truly was a warning from beyond.

"I cannot understand you. Why have you come here?"

"P̶̡̡̛͙̮͇͚̜̜̬̦͎͖͉̪̻̍͒̍̀͛̆̊̍̀̂̇̈́́̓͋͗͆̊̚̚͝l̵̡̬̳̳̀̈́̅̏̓̋͒̓̊̊͑̈̾̎̽̄̕͘͝͠͠e̶̦͓̞̰̺̬̠̳̻̙̬͐̌͐̈́͂͑͊͝ḁ̷͈̯̯̼̖͎͖͐s̴̝͈̪̣̠̮̥̺̥̣͓̱̝͍͊̽̋͗̅̆͆͐̍̅̊͂̀̔̕͘͘̚̚ę̶͙̫̖̥̮̼͇̬͖͎̠͙͖̳͚̜̾͆͗͛̿̽͂̾̾̉̀͛͆̉̂͗͊̚!̷̱͍̳͈̉̓͗́̇̄̿͐̋͛̾̏́̆̄͒̃͘̕͝ ̵̢̡̢̛̫̗̙̲͉̞̙̼̲̭͍̜̙̺͛͛̄̈́̽̊̽̄̆͋̆̆͆́̾͒́͛̑́̚͘͘͝Ļ̵̡̨̟͈̩̬̫̺͉͖͉̼̘̺̭͖̘̲̝̫̊̒͘ͅį̵̜͙͎͎͚͎̻̺̒͛̉̇̅̕͘s̷̨̱̳͇̻͈͖̗̻̜̰̪̝͕͖̲̝̱͔͕̫̬͐́́̇̔͑̊͊͊̓̊̈́͌̂͛̆̔̕̚̚͜͝ͅt̷͖̲̦̅͒͌̇̍̿̍̎̽̈͋̐̆ẹ̶̡̻͔͕͇̟̙̳̝̺͓͔̝̟̝͙̲͎̊̑̋͑̈̾̆̈́͗͂̈n̵̨̡̦̺̦̟̞̙̭̥̟̠̣͂͌̋̏̏̇̈́̑́̚͜͜͝͝ ̷̡̨͉͍̞͎̬͓̭͇̯̞̩̝͚̬͚̗̣͕̥̱̕ẗ̷̨̡̲͍͍̥̬̱̤̲̟͈̙́̇ͅo̶̡̧͓̝̻̲̭̹͔͉͖̯̱͔͉͍̮̻̅͗ͅ ̶̡̲̮̙̝̯͗̾͂̈́̄̾̅͗͋̈́̿̑̐̿̋̔͌̒͆̇͝m̴̡̢̭̮͖̻̲̻̣̟̩̍̒́̎̈́̿̀̃̐̂̍̂͌̔͌̊͐̋͂̚̚͘ẹ̷̛̠̞̝̞̻̞̪̠̲̜͇̽͛̅̽͛̈́̐̄̽̎̓͊͂̌̈́͐͒̕͘͘͝!̴͒̋͗ͅ ̴̨̧̨̢̨̞̙̥̥̫͔̼̦͈͔̬̘͗̃͂̌͗͆̿͑̌͗̀́̉͝͠ͅͅC̴̨̢̩̞̖͔̦̬͇̝̱̤̤͔̭̫͖̐͋͐́̽̓͗̍̇̕ą̷̧̡͓͕̦͔͍̗̱̤̱̬̤͍̰̙̠̤̞̞͔͖̏̇͋̍͒͂͌̏̈̉̐̽̃̈́̃̑͆̀́̏͆͘ṋ̵̨̥̲̣̮͈̱̣̒͋̃͐́̋̀͗̾̆̆̿̕ͅ ̵̢̛̻̣̞̪̬̜͍̈́̆͒͊̓̐͋̊̈̒͐̍͗̃̍̚̚͝ͅÿ̵̺̟̻̥̣͙̮͆̄͂̄̈́̿͌̓̔̾̐͌̆̋͘͠͝͝͝ơ̶̡̢̞̳͙̳̹̱̝̭͈̈́͂̍͋̆͆̆͐͊͜͠ͅư̷̡̨̢̧̢̬̩͕̬̤̭͓͕̗̪̮͓͉̣̯͉̮̳̅͋͌̋́͊̆̎̍̈́̍͊̉̍̾͘ ̷̧̧̛̛̫̹̦̟̞͓̼͕̆̃̔̾̏̾̕͜͜͝ͅh̶̨͉̳̺̥̥̜̟͕͕̺͓͕̏̍̽̑̏̐͒̏̏͛̀̀͌̌̈̆͘̕̕͘ͅẹ̵̛̗͉̭͈̣̮̹̪̑̾̓̍̓͑̾͜͠ă̴̛̗̖̭̭̳͉̈́́̀̋̈́̎̊̑͐̅̍̂͒͝r̸̛̥̳͎͔̜̰̗̙̣͓̯̟̒̄̄̇̔̉̌̂̐̒̚͜ ̷̧̨̨̛̛͙̮̮͈̰̞̲̱̜̮̩̙͔̱̫̹̝̐̏͛́͆͊̄̋̄̆̓͂̌̒̈̋͝m̴̝͙̗̱̮̺͔̈́̒̍͑ȩ̸͚͇̣̪̤̳̲̻̦͓̣̗̩͈͇̈́̇̇̈͛̓̓̔͐̀́̕͠?̴̧̡̧̱̫̱̦̖͕̙̣̬͖̥̺͍̫͍͋̏͛̂̀̂͘!̶̢̰̰̞̜̳̥̜̺͕̺̫̹̟͎͉͕̥͈̙̭̼̼̄͒̓̅̍̽̽̉̎͋̕"

The buzzing grew even louder. Splinter wanted to clasp his hands around his ears, but he focused and hummed low in his throat, summoning a zen breathing exercise to help him interpret the sound. His hands had not left his cane. He couldn't know if this was a harmless yokai yet. 

"Who are you? Why have you come here?" he asked again.

The table clattered, as if someone had slammed something on top. Hands, perhaps. Okay, so it might be angry. He had to be careful.

"It is alright. I will not harm you. I am sorry, but I cannot understand you."

S̵̮̮̲͉̙̯̩̟̺̊̎͗̎͊̉̔͊͌͊̿̇̚̕͜ͅͅp̶̢̘̜̯̮͈͈̩̳̯̦̍͌͗́͛l̵̟̦̮͚̙͓̹̄̊̔̈́̒͌̅̂̂̏̕̕͝͠ị̵̬͉̻̗͚̻̀̉̈́̎̃͐͑̔͋̇̐́̚͝n̶̟̫̱͙̲̠̺̲̝̫̒̄̃͛̌̍̋͂̇t̶̡͚̱̬͍̟̳̬̱͓̘̹͊̒͐̇͑̈͒̌̕͝ͅe̸̢̧͈̜͍̞̺̳̱͈̩̱̺̊͑̓͋̚͠r̵̡̡̛͍̟̘̩͎̹̋́̃̐̔̍̊̎̏̽̑͝!̸̢̨̻̪͇̘͕̩̠̦̪͕̪̬̻͖̑̓̈͌̄̈́͒̽̆̃̕̕͠͝ ̴̰́́̑̍̇͛͝Ĩ̸̤͇̱̩̙͚̱̰̑̚t̵̢̞̙̜͚̹̠̫̼̪̩̤͕̳̽̽͋̅́̑̑͂̅̈́͝͠'̵̛̹̱̰̞̗͎̹̍̍̾̽̎̀͘š̶͉͇̝̋̏̈́̀̅̂͝ ̶̧̟̳̤̲̘̘̮̆ͅL̸̡̨̢̢̧̻̣͔̰͉͎͍͙̉̆̈́͂̈̊̀͗͆͛̓̊͂́͝e̸̢̮̘̹̟̰̻̠͗̇̇͋̆ơ̶̥̞̔͆̓̈́̓̓̌̅̏̐!̶͈̲̣̗̦͓͑͊̌ ̸͕̅̆̐̌M̸̡̳̹̭̗̮͍͓͈̟͍̟͐̄̑̎̈́̅͐͒̚̚i̴̧̡̮̻̻̣͍͇͍̅̑̈́̓k̶͇͚̲̼̘̟̺̘̪͈̫͍̽͆̇̿̄͋̽͘͜͠ͅę̸̧̨̭͉̩͙̘̫͇̜͙̿̏̋͜y̵͍̪͙̒̅̉'̵͔̳͉̳̳̰̦͊͂͛̈́̔͆̿̓͘s̶̨̘͎̳̙̞͓̫͍̲͔̻͓̹̺̈́̎̐̿͋̄̄ ̵̢̧̜̰͓̗̪̭̙̱͕̃̔̊͜͜͝ͅb̷͖͐ŗ̵̧̞̥̪̣̳̭̀̏̈́̎̾͆͑̓̿̔͜ͅo̸̧̰̫͔̤̥͎͉͍̗͌̒̽ͅt̵͖̘̩̰̪̤͈̯̱̳̮̃̊̍̌̀͆̄̿̾̎̿͐͊͘̚h̵̛͍̱͇̺̪̮͈̤̃̒̽ȅ̵̱͚̙͔̺̫̆̈͐͐̓͗͝ŗ̵̡̛͈̙̤̭̱͌̈́!̷̧̱̮̺̻̗͉̞͓̣̞̥̗͕̔͑̾͐̌̋͒̈́͂̒̈͝͝ ̴̧̬̖̣̺͕̣̣͒̿́̓̒͆̀̅̉͜͝T̶̼͆̄͗̇̇̊͂͌̏͂̇̊͘̕̕ĥ̴̡̹̠̤̳̰̠͈̲̝͇͇̳͖̩̝̌́̉ę̶̧̧̪̞̠̫͚̂̓̊y̴̧̪̺̝͚̥̯̥̗̲̼̞̱̩̯̒͂̅͘͜ ̶̧̨̣̜̦͎̝̓̒ͅͅa̷̲̎̂̈́̓̆̌̔̚͝r̴̡̢̲̰̻̮̪͉͈̫͈͕̭͇͍̫͆̂̿̋͂͐̈͗̍͘̚ȩ̶̙͙͈͚͕̫͚̄͗̂ ̴̛̱̩̝͕̟̞̠̋̈́į̷̧͚̟̦͈͇̩͓̪̜͎̻̥̂̄̃͑̌̆̀̓̒̆̾̑̕̕̕ņ̸̛͔̥̪͙͍̠̩̥̹̣͎̻̈́͝͠ ̷͓̲͉͙͙̖̯̟͂̃̋̆̑̕d̷̡̨̡͕̩̼͚͔̦̹̟̺̘̩̬̊ͅa̸̧̛̻̹̭̞̳̺͚̋͂́̓͊̎̓̾̓̒̈́̚͘ͅñ̴̦̻̞̉̅͌͗͌̽̏̍̆̾ģ̸̢̢̜̼̱̬͇͈͖̈̓̋̏͐͑̒̈́̾̕͘͠͠ĕ̴̡̨̢͔͈̻̟̮̣̘̖̤̣̞̼̓̏́̓̓̊́̕̚͜͝r̷̢̢̛͎͎͍̩͚̱̺̬̥̘̘̽̍̔̊̆͝͝͝ͅͅ!̵̨͖̲͚̲̙͗̔̍̂͒̅̈́̉͝

This time, Splinter could make out something akin to words.

"I think I am beginning to understand, could you repeat yourself?"

T̷̳͋͜ḣ̵̛̦̳̙̟̜̼̾̇͛̋͑̈́̚ȅ̵̢͓̪̗̖̦͙̫̐ͅr̶̝͕͚͍̭̰̮͝ẻ̷̡̢̼̖̟͕̟̟͇̑̅̉̋̋̈́̎͊ͅ'̵̧̘̻̦̗̖̼̤͔̦̇̅̉̀̚s̸̰̘̖̖̟̆̇͒́͑̆̋̌̑ ̸̳̄̾̄̓̒̈́͜n̸̛̹͗̀̂͆͆̒͘͠ọ̵̡͖͖͎̔͂̒̈́̾̇̚̚͝ ̸̻̞͋t̶̹͈͕͉͍̻̲̋̈́̉̔͊̅̐͘͜į̴̦̜̩̣̙̘̂͑ḿ̵͈̼̙̖͐͊͑́̉̍̇ͅe̴̪̭̲̘̠̪͕̎̎̂!̶͔̤̤̪̎͋̐͠ ̵̻̼̿̑̐̽T̷̰͈̗̜̣̟̬͊͋̌h̴̡̢͇̿̑e̴̬̜̙͉̍̏͐̆̀̐̋ý̷̳̪̟̦͓̘͔̂̈̿͐͋͗͠ ̶͚̙̈̍́͝͝w̷̲̜̓̈́́̾̇i̷̧̬̙͚̜̰̻̘̊̈̐̓͌l̷̗̞͐̉̋l̶̖̗̟̦͚͉͕̍͋̑̈́̈́͐̾̑͐͠ͅ ̶̲̖͈̫̬̙͈̆͋̔͝d̵̢̍͗̈́͂̅̄͊̕ị̸̢̢̻̦̈́̏͘e̶͎̣̞̰̠͎͇͂͝͝ ̷̯͖̺̩̯̘͔̐͜ĩ̴̢̮̝̼͈̱̩̓̕͜f̵̢͔͔̬͕̘̘̣̝̊̈͜ ̶̮͎̭͎̭̲̭̗̥͖̄͆͗͌͝ÿ̵̨̖̱͖̖̍̈́͜o̷̠͖̞ū̸̧͚̪̱ ̶̳̜̰̤̈́͑̐̍̈́̅d̶̙̼̖͙̝̫͓̈́̎̅͘͜͜ő̵̝̐ņ̶͉͍͍̳͉͍͕̐̊̌̔'̸̖͇̍͋̓̈̏͝t̸͎̞̲͕͠ ̵̤̎̈́̊̅͐̀̌͝c̸̛͕̠͎̜̆̅̏̈́͒̽̑̎ǫ̷̮̩͉̭̻̑m̶̙̱̯̼̮̭͉̗̱̓̈́̃e̸̛̬̗̜̤͑̏̃ͅ ̵̥̰̯̯̆̀̂̈͘͝ͅw̴̜̗̩̰̗̤̩̔̀̿͒̐͘ͅǐ̶̛͓̭͓̼͎̙͠ͅt̸͍͕̹͈̝̅̽̾̊̑̒͐̌̍͜h̷̢̨̪͕̳͉͈̅ ̸̜͈͔͍̹̝̺̫̌̏̀m̷̧̹͎̤̦̰͓̻̠͂͐ę̷̢͕̦͍̩͊́̂̿͆̎̽̃̏ͅ!̸̞̹̠̯̯̈́͋͋͊͑̇͋ͅ ̷̝̘̭̳̹͆̽̌͑̇̈̓͆͋S̷̡̛͖͛̎̚p̶̦͔̙̥̮̤͌̆l̴̻͔̦̈́̽̽i̶̪̗̘̘̳̥͂̆̉͋̇̃̇͑̋͝ͅn̴̛̄̑͛̑̍̄̈̚͜t̶̛͔͒̇͑̅̂̅͝͝e̸͇̊͂͂̃̿̿͝r̴͈̾͝,̴͓̻̺̻̩̱̱̘̿̊ ̷̡͈̯̰̜̳͐̇̓̋̎͘͝p̵̫̗͙͎̯̈́̂͑l̶̥͍̭͋̐̇̔̇̊͘͝ê̶̜̻̹̭͗̆̕a̶̡͕̰̫̫͔͕͎̙̭͝s̵̘̼̙̤̞͑̀͐ͅė̴̡͕̝̫̟̬̼̅̍͛̇!̴̭͉̺͙̭̦̥̻̈̽̽͛̀̎̕͜͜

The buzzing softened a bit. He could make out a few words, but those he could hear froze the blood in his veins.

"Death? No time? What do you mean?" his heart hammered in his chest, but he forced himself to stay calm so he could understand better.

"̸̣̭̘͆͆̀̈́M̸͔̭̬̥̏̾͂͐͆y̴̮͓̟͚̏̾͌ ̴̨̘̩̐̂̅̓͝b̴̦͕̟̱̤̋̃̈ȑ̵͓̣́̅̕ơ̴̧̑̆̄͠t̷͈͂̓h̵͓̻̣͔̭̐͛̔ẽ̵̛͍̖r̵͈̀̕s̴̲̎͛̏̌.̸̲͎͎̹͚̓̈̂̈́.̶̰̑̅̍́.̴͎͊̆ÿ̶̞̹͎́̑o̶̳̫̫̹͉̿́̌ṷ̴͔̜̘̞͑r̸̪̻͊̈́͋͘ ̶̜̽̆̆̆s̵͎̈̈́͆o̶̟̾͝ṉ̶̞͖̎̾̓ṡ̶͚̮̬͈̉͠!̴̧̣̼̻̒ ̸̛͓̯̘̤͂̔̃T̵̺̦͋̃h̴̛͉̜̞̱͖͂͑̂͌e̴͉͇͌̄͗ÿ̵̜̮̪̣́͛͒'̵̠̖̇̋̽͂̉r̶̙̲̿̎̎ḛ̶̣̙͐͆͝͝ͅ ̴̩͓̟̤͝i̵̥̼̤͖̤̿̉̍ņ̸͓̗̣͋̒ ̶̢̻̝͉͐͒d̸͉̈́͛a̸͓̟̔̏͠n̷̙̫̱̮͔͛̋g̶̡̙̊͛̃̔e̷̲͈̐̃͊͛͌ͅŗ̷̙̣͆̄̊̚ͅ,̵̠̈́̓̅̅͘ ̵̧̹̭̞͑̋̈́ͅȁ̴̢͕͖́n̶̞̜̥͕̬̍͑͝ḋ̶̢̼̥̰̭́͠ ̸̮̦̼̣̪̿͛y̵̨͔̬̱͆͑̃̇ŏ̴̮̰ŭ̴̳̗̝̰̆ ̸̩̮͋͗h̷̡̞͇̟a̴̯͙̾̿̓͘v̵̘̓͛̽é̸̞̤ͅ ̷̩̺̥̯̊̔̅t̷͙͓͖̣̔o̵̱͖͊͋͜ ̸̪̳͋̓͒͋̾h̴̲͕̾͌͊ę̷̪̫̯̖̄̄̽̎͗l̸̠͓̮̿͜p̸̨̰̬̼̓͆̅̚ ̴̹̤͖̟̙̿t̶̤̏̎̿̅h̵̔̆͆̕ͅḝ̷̛̲̐m̴̢̩̰̃̍͛̚͝!̶̠̦͔͆͒͘"̷͖͓̓͝

Sons, danger, help.

Splinter took deep breaths. 

"My sons are in danger? How so? What happened?" he forced the words out of his mouth, and focused harder.

"̷̨̍W̸͓̝̉̒è̶͙ ̷̰̭̏̓w̴͕̍̉ĕ̵̙ŕ̴̺̓e̶̹̤̕͝ ̸̩͋ḙ̴̫̈́x̸͚̬̌̚p̵̧̗̆͝l̷̺̙̒̕o̵̰̯͆̽r̷̗͙̄ḯ̴͕̱̾n̶̠̝̋̍g̶͈̙̑ ̶͕̔ṫ̷͓̍h̷͉̻̐͊e̷͕͂̌ ̶̘͑͌c̵̩̄͜i̴̢̾t̷͇̎y̴̥͊͑,̵̩̎ ̷̮͙̾̈w̴̱̆̑h̴̰̒͜͝e̵̛̬͂n̵͔͍͊͋ ̶͇̱͑t̴͇̎h̸̘͊e̶̠̅̊y̸̠̺̔ ̷͖̇͝a̶̡͉̎ṫ̵͚͓͊ṭ̵͓͒a̷͇͆c̶̥̗̎k̶̗̉̕e̶̝͘d̷̹̓ ̷̥͙͑t̴͕̱̒̀h̸̹̓͌e̸̢m̶̺̝̾̅!̶̭̻̑ ̵̯̺́͝T̴͇̕h̴̡̄ȅ̶̗͛ͅȳ̸̢̽'̴͓̽͐r̶͍̀̓e̸̩̲͆̃ ̷̛̙͇͋ö̷͖́ụ̴̅t̴̛̼͝n̴̤̹̍͠ű̵̦͈m̶̡̳͊b̶͙̻̈e̴͕̦̿ȑ̶͎̠͝e̷̱̒d̴͖͑!̷̢̈́"̵͍̆

Okay, he could hear better now. The yokai's voice was high and panicked, sounding much younger than he had expected. Almost like...

"̵̻̃Ī̴ͅ ̵̯͒t̸̝̕r̵̲̃į̴̅ȇ̴̩d̶̫͑ ̴͉̈́t̵̠̚o̸͆ͅ ̶͔͒h̷̝͐e̸̺͒l̴͇̃ṕ̴̬ ̸̲͑t̵͕̅ḩ̸̿e̷̦̚ṁ̷͉ ̷̘̅b̶͇̋ȗ̶̙t̷͓́ ̵̧̀I̴͈͒ ̵̟̿c̵̢̎ȯ̸͙u̵̾͜l̴̯̏d̵͈͛n̸̩͛'̸͍͝t̵̙͑,̸͖͘ ̷͓͘ŝ̸̠o̸̞̊ ̴̠̈́p̶̝̒ḻ̶́ĕ̸͍ä̷̰s̶̼̚e̷̳͋,̴̲̍ ̷͕̉p̴͕͐ḷ̵̈́e̶̻͊ä̴̘s̸̛̬e̸̫͒ ̶̤͌h̸̘͋e̸͔̊l̷̡͛p̵̳͌ ̷͈̄t̷̖̚ḥ̵̐e̴͚͗m̵̲͊,̵̯̔ ̸̡̒b̵͖͝e̴̥̊ć̸̝a̷͈̿ǘ̶͓s̷̛̠ē̵̪ ̸̩̽Ȋ̸̳ ̸͖̈c̸̟͒a̴͑͜n̷͈̾'̴̫̌ẗ̶͉!̷̲̊"̵̢͝

A shadow's outline started to form in the bright moonlight. Was that the yokai's form? Was it finally showing itself?

"̷I̷ ̷k̸n̴o̷w̶ ̸y̶o̷u̴ ̴d̵o̷n̴'̸t̴ ̵k̶n̸o̵w̶ ̷m̶e̶,̶ ̵b̷u̵t̶ ̸I̸ ̷k̸n̵o̶w̸ ̷t̸h̵e̷m̷!̵ ̵A̵n̷d̵ ̸y̵o̴u̶!̴ ̶A̷n̶d̵ ̸n̶o̴w̷ ̸s̸o̷m̷e̵h̶o̶w̴ ̷y̴o̷u̵ ̴c̷a̴n̶ ̷h̴e̵a̴r̶ ̶m̵e̷,̴ ̵s̷o̴.̴.̷.̵"̸

Splinter's eyes widened. A particularly bright ray of moonlight hit the space in front of him, and as frantic shouting filled his ears, he was met with the form of–

_"PLEASE HELP THEM!"_

A turtle. A teenage turtle.

Splinter couldn't believe his eyes. There was a teenage turtle in front of him, yet it wasn't any of his sons. So who...?

He wore bandages around his arms, and his skin was a blueish green. He had no freckles and he was taller than any of his children, maybe 15 or 16 years of age. In his hand he carried a samurai sword, a katana, shiny and unused, but he was lean and strong, muscles straining under the pressure he put on his weapon. His face revealed a soft air of kindness, and his eyes were a striking blue, not as sharp as Raphael's, but not as round as Michelangelo's. He lacked the straight-back posture Donatello always wore, but he carried himself with the elegance of someone who knows martial arts. He seemed tired, and had a wise light in his eyes, one that only came with age. That, however, was buried underneath the raw panic he had, making his entire frame shake. Tear tracks made his cheeks shine in the moonlight. 

And he wore a blue bandanna.

_This is my brother!_

_We're making a cake!_

_He taught me the moves so I could fight..._

_We're playing knight, see?_

_I love him lots!_ _He's the coolest!_

_His name? Oh! He's–_

"Leonardo"

The turtle stopped his rambling, and stared at him with so much hope it hurt.

"D–Dad?"


	8. Purpose

"D-Dad?"

The turtle's watery eyes focused fully on the rat in front of him, wide as the full moon above them.

Splinter could not speak for a few seconds, too shocked by whatever apparition stood in front of him to process the situation.

"Splinter? C-Can you hear me? Can you... _see me?"_ the turtle asked tentatively, not willing to raise his hopes completely just yet. He took a cautious step forward, and Splinter's responding step back answered his question.

Leo's eyes glistened with tears, his cheeks hot from crying. Was this really happening? Was his biggest dream coming true? Could the moon have listened to him, truly? It seemed to perfect to be true.

"Are you...Leonardo?" the rat asked, his voice not betraying the stiffness his whiskers carried. He appeared to be calm and collected, though. But Leo could tell. He _knew_ his Sensei. And now...now he was _looking_ at him! He was _talking_ to him!

Leo nodded, to choked up to form words. He felt like a lost kid all over again, when he found out he was just the spectator. The ghost. Only now, he was being acknowledged by one of his most important people, not ignored.

"Michelangelo's Leonardo?" he asked once again, as if making sure he was understanding correctly. 

Leo nodded again.

Splinter eyed him up and down, and Leo instinctively stood up a bit straighter, as if they were in a normal training session and not in a reunion he wouldn't have thought he would ever have some days ago. The turtle felt, for all in the world, like a normal teenager. Well, as normal as he and his family could–

Wait.

His family.

His brothers.

 _Mikey_.

"How–"

"Wait, Sensei!" Under normal circumstances, Leo would be mortified to have interrupted his father in such a way. But it seemed his intervention, or rather, his voice, startled him enough to keep him silent.

"Your sons! M-Mikey, and Raph, and Donnie, too! They're in danger, and we have to go, _now!"_ he said, the previous desperation he had felt coming back and tainting his words with an ugly tremble. What was he doing?! Crying like an idiot and distracting Sensei when his brothers could be hurt, or–!

Or.

He refused to finish that sentence.

"What has happened?" At the mention of danger to the boys, Splinter's eyes snapped back into focus, as Leo knew they would. He was always so protective of them, and he was so good at protecting them from threats.

Unlike Leo.

"There's no time. Follow me!" 

Splinter hesitated for a split-second, before muttering something about yokais and following him on quick feet.

The city was no less beautiful than when Leo first went out, but he found that all of the features he had found to be eye-catching and bright seemed to dim under the pale light of the moon above. Maybe it was just his fear speaking, but it felt like the night itself was holding its breath for what happened next. Waiting for the end, and the beginning of morning.

He just hoped that ending was a happy one.

Leo didn't look back the majority of the path, too busy making sure he was guiding Splinter back the right way. Getting lost and having to go in circles around the city, while his brothers were battling and struggling, made Leo's breath hitch for a moment, before he shook off his fear and risked a tiny glance back. Seeing Splinter's gaunt, tense face shouldn't have relieved him as much as it did, but he found it incredible that Splinter had trusted him enough to keep going behind him. His eyes felt suspiciously itchy. 

_Don't cry now, Leo! You're so close!_

_It's almost over._

And over it was, the second Leo heard the distant sounds of metal against metal, shouting and the sound of bodies hitting the pavement of the rooftop. He dragged his eyes through the sea of ninjas (it was smaller, he noticed, though not much) and nearly felt his knees give with relief when he spotted three colorful bandannas among the black. They were still alive.

Thank the moon.

Splinter stormed past him, and the fight began.

...Or ended, depending on the way you looked at it.

Leo felt stunned. He knew Splinter was a martial artist, one of the best. He had watched him training his brothers, tried to replicate his movements to perfection. The rat always made the katas look effortless and easy, sliding through the turtle's defenses like water and ending the sparring session in minutes, even when they went at him at the same time. Leo _knew_ Splinter was powerful, of course he was.

He just had never realized how _terrifying_ he could be.

Leo watched with wide eyes as the last ninja dropped with a dull thud, Splinter rising above the limp bodies with a glint in his dark eyes. Suddenly, the turtle could catch a glimpse of the old Hamato warrior, standing strong and victorious, his enemies defeated at his feet. It was one thing to hear the stories out of Sensei's mouth, and another thing entirely to witness it. Leo didn't know if he should feel awed or terrified.

Luckily, he didn't have to dwell much on it, as a thin voice cut through the sudden silence.

"S-Splinter?" Donnie panted, sounding younger and more fragile than Leo remembered, and his heart clenched. He appeared to be bruised, but otherwise unharmed.

Raph pulled himself up with a grunt, looking up at Splinter, relief plain as day in his eyes. He had a split lip and bloody knuckles, but a smile was slowly forming on his face.

Mikey looked between Leo and Splinter, approaching with a slight limp. He struggled to catch his breath, and his lower lip started to wobble as their eyes met. Leo automatically embraced him fiercely, forgetting about the battered state of his brother in favor of crushing him in his arms because _thank God, his brothers were safe and alive, his baby brother was here–_

And the waterworks started. Mikey wailed and clung to Leo as his shoulder was quickly damped with his tears. Leo glanced at the others briefly, his eyes teary once more, seeing the rat helping Raph and Donnie up gently, pulling them into a hug as well. He felt full of joy, and Mikey's sobbing seemed weirdly muffled as his mind struggled to process his relief alone.  
They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, calming down and crying ( _"Are you crying, Raph–""Shut up, I'm not!"_ ) their stress out. Eventually, Leo softly pointed out that they shouldn't stay here, between the unconscious bodies of the ninjas, and Mikey hiccuped, nodding reluctantly.

"G-guys, we should probably go" his voice trembled slightly.

"Michelangelo is right, we should not remain here, it is dangerous" Splinter's voice, on the contrary, rang firm in the night air. It spoke of control, of finality.

 _It's over._ Leo thought.

The family found another rooftop–far, far away from _that_ one–and took another moment to gather their bearings and rest. Leo could see a very, very faint light on the horizon. Daylight. They had made it to another day. He felt his mouth curl into a smile.  
Looking back, Splinter was fussing over Raph's wounds, (Mikey insisting he was fine and sticking with him), but, as if sensing his gaze, turned his head.

Leo stiffened, still not used to Splinter being able to see him, but the rat's eyes softened and he smiled gently at him. Leo felt like his heart could burst. It was a little sad that Donnie and Raph still couldn't see him, but he was satisfied with the outcome nonetheless. 

"Thank you, my son"

Leo froze. Donnie startled and looked around, noticing that, even if Splinter's gaze was in Mikey's direction, his eyes weren't quite on _him_.

"Who're yo talkin' to, Sensei?" Raph sounded a little weary.

Mikey's eyes were wide.

"S-Sensei, what–"

Splinter kept talking, standing up slowly, as if not to scare Leo.

"Thank you, for taking care of my family. Thank you, for being there for Michelangelo. Thank you, for alerting me of their danger. Thank you for saving them"

Mikey sucked in air behind him. Leo couldn't move. 

"Sensei..." Donnie's voice, confused, drifted through the air slowly.

"I am sorry, for not noticing" Splinter gave no signs of hearing him. He took another step closer.

"I am sorry, for doubting your existence. I am sorry I could not be there for you, as a father should. I am sorry you were alone all these years" Was that his vision, or Splinter's eyes were a little wet too?

He stood in front of Leo.

Light filled the sky, the sun rising up.

Leo heard two gasps of shock behind Splinter, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his father.

"You have been brave beyond reason. Strong and determined. You have been kind to Michelangelo, and have kept us safe"

"You may think I do not now a lot about you, only what Michelangelo has told me."

"But that is enough, is it not?"

Splinter's smile was soft as he looked down at him. Love, Leo realized numbly.

"Leonardo is kind. Leonardo is brave."

Mikey perked up, eyes misty and smile wide, tentative and hopeful. He squeezed his hand. 

"Leo likes blue things, and watching Space Heroes on TV!"

Donnie came closer, mouth agape, taking in the brother that was lost to him all those years.

Quietly, as if realizing something, he murmured,

"...Leo helps Mikey with his katas, and he helped him bake a cake"

Raph came forward as well, looking at the big brother he had never known.

"Leo is the oldest Hamato son...he carries twin katanas" he whispered, as in awe.

Splinter looked proud, but tears were threatening to spill from his eyes.

The sun came up fully in the sky, lighting Leo's figure, and making his tears shine.

This. This is...

The feeling of love, of joy, filled his heart, as he clenched Mikey's hand in his own. The pain, and loneliness, flowed with his tears.

Donnie was giving him a tentative smile. Raph's hand came to wipe at his eyes.

Mikey was beaming. Splinter's hand rested, as delicate as a feather, in his head.

"Leonardo is certainly very, very loved"

Leo sobbed. 

He cried for the years of fear and anger, for the pain and the fake smiles. He cried for his love for his family. He cried because he couldn't have them. He wept for Mikey's smiles, and Raph's laugh, and Donnie's wit. He cried for Splinter, for the family he had but was blind to his existence. 

He cried because, for once, he understood.

As a warm voice filled his heart, as the light of the sun warmed his body, he _understood_.

The rays of the golden sun filled him fully, passing through him as pure as light can be.

Mikey's hand passed through his.

Leo struggled to open his eyes against the tears, forcing himself to look at his brother's paling face. He was saying something, asking something, but Leo couldn't hear him. He could only weep.

Splinter's eyes filled with sadness, love still buried behind the sudden, painful understanding.

Donnie's endearing smile had fallen, Raph's hand reached out for him.

But it could never touch him. Not now. Not anymore, and Leo could only weep.

Mikey's eyes filled with panic, tears flooding like a mirror to Leo's own.

 _Don't leave_ , he mouthed. But Leo couldn't promise that. 

He wouldn't be able to promise anything anymore.

And, strangely, he was okay with that.

The voice called out to him again, gentle and sweet. Leo made an effort to smile.

He wanted to be remembered like this. Smiling. Happy. As he was. _As he is_.

"I love you" he said, smiling wide.

"I love you" He remembered Mikey in his crib, curious little hands reaching for him.

"I love you" He remembered Donnie's sweet smile, his never ending babble.

"I love you" He remembered Raph's first steps, already firm and confident.

"I love you" He remembered Splinter, serene and calm, as he should be.

"I love you so, _so_ much"

He wondered what his purpose was, once. What he would grow up to be, what he had to do. He was afraid.

Now, he thought that perhaps, his purpose had already been fulfilled. His purpose was to care, to protect, to _be_ there. To love deeply and unconditionally. To save their lives. They would grow up to be heroes, they would save people. He caught glimpses. Fiery red hair, a white hockey mask. The vastness of space, and the glory of battles. Somehow, he thought, they would be okay. Somehow, they would win. He knew it. He knew it like he knew he loved them.

Leo smiled, now almost blinded by the light.

In the brightness, he thought he could see Mikey smile, teary and wobbly, and he heard,

_We love you, too. I love you, too._

_And_

_Leo_

_Was_

_Home._

_"Welcome back, my little hero"_

_A soft hand brushed his cheek, and Tang Shen's delicate face appeared before him, full of warmth and love._

_His mom looked as beautiful as he imagined._

_"I'm back"_

_**–The End–** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end!   
> The ending was quite bittersweet, and not nearly enough was said between Leo and the family, but that's why I did it that way. To convey the missing time, the sense of urgency, and then the acceptance that came with having saved the people you love.  
> Thank you for reading! :>


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